have a nice day

i miss listening to the stereophonics. shall go listen to superman later. you don't know what it's been like meeting someone like you... aah! re-discovered franz ferdinand's don't start. so so so lovely. reminiscent of the sweet innocence of being in love and that feeling of running in circles over that person. love love love.

had a lot of time to burn over op. digressed with liz and amanda while we discussed our poo-poo presentation. so amanda recounted to us her trip to serangoon with little amanda to collect ODAC t-shirts. and how she was overwhelmed by the number of cedar girls she saw. so liz told us about the blue army and the polkadot army existing in sajc. up to you to guess what's what. seaweed lovers. love my pw mates trucksload. despite our little spats and whatnot, we were practically the only team that had the least disagreements. and lunch from kfc!!!thanks to small amanda. and sleeping in class after that was heavenly.

and that woman is such a biatch. just because there are students from other classes for today you want to act like you're the only one who holds authority? shit you. and then you specifically pick on students. poor sufi. which option would a teacher let his/her students do: let them finish up OP script but at least you know they're quiet? or let them talk and make noise and you yourself end up telling everyone to shut up? shitass. you just had bad sex (or none as speculated by sufi) and you're taking it out on us. shit you. after a levels, i never have to see you and your smug face ever again. all the things that you did really had no point in them, even.

to evil carebear: whee!! and how can you not figure out why i was so smiley last night? what kind of person are you? poo poo.

:)))

oh come on, how can you not know why i'm smiley?

pfft.

again, you leave me hanging in a lurch. i'm getting sick of this time and time again. i don't get enough of you and you abandon me once again. so typical. why don't you just leave me altogether? it'll end the frustration and the misery once and for all. i don't want empty promises. i've been hurt one too many times by the same person before. don't be like him. i can't bear to pick up the pieces and get cut by them one more time.

i miss the guy who willingly cut himself with the broken pieces, trying to mend my broken heart. come back to work there again. i still wait for you. like i waited 2 years ago.

tied to the 90's

i was a child of the 80's. but a sponge to the 90's. considering i was born just a year before the 90's started. love. evil carebear's everything is screwing up on him. his blog account, his msn... i know they like me because his account seems to work when i log into his. they like me more. i wonder why. because their owner loves me! poo poo. need to cut my fingr nails. getting annoying. raah! i woke up late, forgot mr darling laptop. but the day ended well. bought polar puffs for the family to enjoy. lovelove the black pepper crab puff. it's so nice to eat. i like my bus rides home from woodlands. because i always contemplate stopping at bt panjang to crash at starbucks and roam around bt panjang plaza. cheers. i want my feelgood music. where's my la la love?

hell no

alex's alluring voice + alex's decadent rockgod pose and stare + 'outsiders' + andy 'whose my man if he can do it no one can' knowles + andy's hyper playing + 12 drummers whacking it at the same time = mayhem.

I LOVE ALEX 'LUCKY, LUCKY YOU'RE SO LUCKY' KAPRANOS!!!! i worship the damn ground you walk on. fuck. this is crazy. but i like it. but i love you more. :))) teehee...

i'm the person with hurt in his eyes,
i'm the person you never saw cry.

you have to watch the anti bullying campaign ad. it's damn cool. because there's alex in it! with his oh so sexy drawl and intense gaze. those are the lines that he says in it.

blue nothing

i miss listening to random songs on my lappytoppy. ( the new name for it) found mew's video for zookeeper's boy. tall, just like a giraffe. you have to climb to find its head. and manic street preacher's empty souls. i miss watching the video on mtv. mtv has become overrrated. it has become too gangsta. touche! what happened to all the indie, grunge, electronica and alternative that they had in the past? i don't see anymore franz ferdinand, mew, dandy warhols or any of the people who have actual talent rocking and doing what they love. or ladytron and le tigre. i miss seeing the vines rocking out and the thrills ringing in my ears. it's the indie bands that make interesting videos. ah, bloc party, what has become of thee? (sheesh, lit freak) results this coming friday. same as the darn-ded a level malay paper. and a very long day in school after that. can't imagine pw for 4.5hours. i don't care how tomorrow goes. as long as it ends the way i want it to, then i don't care. raah!

oh, the sweetest thing.

fool me once, shame on you

so everything was fine and dandy for today's saturday pw session. i was quite freaked out by the number of dead insects i found around the school. while waiting, kristy, leonard and i mulled around with youtube. from mcr's black parade to a japanese anime. then went to look for interesting music and pictures online. found some stuff to sketch for later. wanted to start sketching when i got home but was so tired that i fell asleep in my uniform. woke up to change but ended up having to greet guests. my grandnephew is so darn-diddly cute and chubby. like my penguin. he really is. chey. grandnephew. i feel so old in my family because i'm high in the hierachy on my dad's side right now.

i'm going to do the sketches in a bit. if you're wondering, it's part of the surprise. and a reason to buy acrylics. maybe not acrylics. too expensive for this project. i'll think of something then. black, white and red. yum. still not finalised. have to buy the material.

i'm gonna wait right here

i'm now in school waiting for liz with kristy, and we're so darn pissed that liz is late, again. i'm tired and i'm sick of our group leader always being the one that's late. and i miss him. so much. i feel responsible for what happened between him and them. that's all for this morning. see you again dear. i can't wait for long bus rides.

losing myself permanently

today was a useless day, except mother tongue mock exam. good vibes about this. thanks to yanni and little brother to make it a good one today. and marcus is a nice guy. he fed me twice today with the nice want want wafer sticks and a pocky stick. and he returned my ez-link card 2 minutes after taking it away. thanks marcus. no evil photos here.

i miss all my ASEAN friends. a month has passed and i keep crying when i think about all our escapades during that period of 5 days. angels, friends, brothers, sisters, romances, lovers,.. you name it, we had it. a special bond that no one can ever break. we are unbreakable. GOOD LUCK TO THOSE TAKING SATS NEXT MONTH AND THOSE TAKING UNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAMINATIONS!!!

i miss you, you know i do. come back soon, honey.

in my mind's eye

if that's how he feels about me, then maybe we shouldn't be. i don't want to aggravate things between you and them. you know i'll always care for you. you know you have a place in my heart. but the decision's up to you.

why are you always so far from me? i've lost my sense and sensibility. breaking down, broken, can't be repaired. let me lay in your arms until i die in them.

getting good

for some reason, i've been receiving a lot of $50 bills in my collection money. i'm not complaining. but $50 is a bit too much. i feel really bad, especially when the people who give me the money aren't really making a lot. this is why i hate hari raya money collection. when the not well-to-do give me more than what i expect, i feel like giving it back to them. it just makes me want to cry. i get enough money from my parents, thank you. they give me more than enough. that's why i'm saving this year. i want to get something that's really worth it and not throw money frivolously like before. i'm not being self-righteous and pious or anything of that sort. i just feel like i've let a lot of people down these few days.

i'm thinking about someone's birthday present. and i've got a great cheapo, artistic idea up my sleeve. ya gots ta wait, ya gots ta wait. i ain't telling. and i'm not getting the shoes that you keep showing me. no way. leave that to your family members please.

not mine... ever

i feel like i'm standing in quicksand while i see a huge tsunami coming towards me but i'm helpless to do anything because i'm rooted to the ground and no one is willing to risk their lives to save me and they'd rather save their own skin and is this the punishment i get for falling too deep it's unfair that i don't get to ever see you talk to you or be with you and this is separating us keeping us apart and we're drifting further from each other i can only grasp your fingers while i get sucked under and struggle to breathe and stay afloat while the waves pull you from my reach and all you can do is go with the flow of the water i'm drowning in my own tears into the dark abyss of the deepest oceans i don't even know if you'll wait for me once they rescue you while i disappear forever without trace what did i do to deserve this melancholy?

metamorphosis

if you've never read franz kafka's metamorphosis, you should be shot. or any of his works at all. the language is simple yet beautiful. perfect. i love russian authors these days. especially bulgakov. bulgakov, bulgakov. i want to fall in love with your books again. i've yet to finish the master and margarita. i love the crazy setting. i love the master. i love how he's incredibly calm despite being in the predicament he faces, being exiled in a mental institution. i love how margarita is so helpless in getting the master back, yet she's so frighteningly strong and independent during the devil's ball. i love the scene where she bathes in blood and presents herself naked to the guests of the ball. i love how the devil messes with those who try too hard to expose him. it's such a decadent book. everyone should go read it. i love franz ferdinand for coming up with love and destroy and making me want to fly into the muscavite sky. it's all too surreal. i want to be margarita and find my lost lover, the master, and be with him while he locks himself to write, and make sure we're never apart. i want too much. i've started to ramble. i've let thoughts stream into my conscience endlessly. i've fallen into a blurry abyss once more. i need someone to pull me out and make me realise my brain isn't stopping. that i need to step out of this subconscious. where are you, my dear? you've let me slipped down after what you did.

not today...

for some reason, i have no mood to celebrate this year's hari raya. i stopped caring about the money, i stopped being excited seeing the food, i stopped being excited counting down. maybe i've been to busy to even try to make the effort. even when i'm not, i'm using all my effort to recover all the energy i lost over project work and school stress. maybe not this year.

i have been a bad granddaughter. i haven't visited my grandmothers' graves at all for the fasting month. i've been putting it on hold since i started school. maybe not today, maybe not for this year. maybe it's because tomorrow when i go back to school, it's endless project work and intensive mother tongue for me until next friday. that's why i don't really enjoy the atmosphere. what's wrong with me?

i love the long bus rides the most. they're what i look forward to all the time.

maybe not.. we'll see.

blood rushes to my face

today was a perfect day. had pw meeting with liz and amanda. or now it's vick tim and ther ee ghit. groovy. and i got bee ee-ching. if you can see the illusion in mine, you deserve a pat on your back. nyaha!

evil carebear and little brother just simply know how to make my day. to evil carebear, let's not say it here but thanks for the extra special fuzzy feeling i got today. and little brother, your card is just so cute. and i love the picture you drew. i hope it comes true in the future. and what a spectacle my mum has to see when she sees us on the sofa.

love isn't perfect, i can guarantee you that. but what i can promise you is, we'll always find a way to make it work. your eyes, they make me weak in the knees.

oh...

again, you've found a way to leave me breatheless once more. i'm losing my sense and sensibility. how do you do it?

today was a good day

went out with my parents and my sister today. it's all good. but at joo chiat complex, i got slammed by the lift door on both sides. damn, it hurt. don't their lifts have sensors? but anyway, the issue was just so perplexing that i was laughing and crying at the same time. laughing at myself over the situation i got caught it (literally caught in) and crying because both my arms were hurting and i didn't know which one to soothe first. here are the photos.

don't we have the same smile? sisters.

the hari raya massacre

walking down backlanes and alleyways.

i love how you make me feel sometimes. but other times, i just have to wonder. and i apologise once again.

the great escape

fine, i apologise for what i did, ok? what lah, evil carebear. can't even have my fun. hmph.

aah! was watching videos. and guess what? i finished watching the entire season of drew carey green screen show. all 12 episodes. and was watching music videos until now. the lead singer of we are scientists is super uber good-looking. and i don't mind having a boyfriend who dresses like that. (hint hint...) suits always go well with sneakers. that's damn fashionable these days. kind of like jeff davis. memories of drew carey green screen show. one who dresses like alex kapranos? i don't mind the real deal. or bob will be good enough. hardy har har. or andy. the unofficial 5th member of franz ferdinand.

watching the ordinary boys' video and hearing their ska-beat song boys will be boys makes me miss trumpets and playing the cornet out loud for the whole world to hear. 1st cornet for 4 frigging years. can you imagine? in sec 1, i was the only junior in 1st cornet, playing alongside the seniors and also alumni members. and up to sec 4, i retained the same chair from sec 3. the beatles' hey jude is playing in my earphones. reminders of their movie, hard day's night. that was a kooky movie. you have to watch it. the black-and-whiteness of it all. i love retro.

watch out.. i bite.. hard..

here's to a 150th post

today was a lacklustre day. feeling really beside myself at this point of time. must be the cough i'm having at the moment. i've become a skinny stick at the moment. i think i lost more weight. have to check soon. i lost a couple of inches of my waist. i can stick two fists into my jeans when i wear them. and even the belt doesnt' help. that's for being a skinny, 10% anorexic and 2% bulimic and athletic cuckoo sometimes.

my nice brother gave me a back press just now. felt good to finally get one after such a long time. and my daddy's finally home early for the first time. usually he reaches home after 9pm. heavy workload. eeps. today went out, but didn't get everything that i wanted. but i left the house looking like i just woke up with my unkempt hair in a messy ponytail and my eyes half-open. trying out shades at john little was fun. the retro one with white frame is super sexy ok? i want them. which means i have to get contact lenses first. then i can enjoy wearing them.

i miss the j2's. i miss daniel saw. i miss seeing him at the mrt station and walking with him and laughing at him trying to convince me that his hair is growing. i hate the school being so empty. it's so demoralising sometimes. i miss daniel, i miss daniel... and i miss the feeling of holding his hand and jumping into the sea with him like we did 4 months ago. and that adorably sweet smile and accent that he has. raah! i never regret meeting him. though people now think there's something between us. but there's nothing as cassandra might like to think. stop making rumours about me and daniel.

december y-camp: evil carebear's going. and my mum gave me the greenlight. whoops. but when she goes to hk i'm not following. so i'm staying in singapore. with my brother and my maid. because i think my dad is following, and my sister is definitely going. raah! my mum says she wants to go kl. i want faidz. if i go, then can call the man for a tour. but i don't know. it's all tentative. she might go during y-camp. but i liebe y-camp more. and evil carebear. so, the mind's made up.

aren't you glad? i want to fall into your open arms.

coke and seaweed

i think i've become addicted to coke and seaweed. yummy and potent combination. a new sin.

i finally got what i wanted. yea. i so deserved it. today was interesting. i saw a man being arrested in front of the police post. he looked like a bald man with a chinchilla stuck to his head. raah! bought ribbons to make ribbon ketupats to decorate the lovely house. yay. now watching 3 abdul with my sister. abdul wahab, abdul wahib, abdul wahub... i love my messy ponytail. it is so, deliberate and accidental at the same time.

testing out my sister's groovy eyewear. i love her shades. i want contact lenses now, so i can wear them.

collapse

i almost collapsed in school after ogl meeting. went to the toilet and found it really, and i mean really, hard to breathe. i felt dizzy and about to lose consciousness. felt the toilet swirling around me. hyperventilation came at the most inconvenient time. and the difficulty to breathe continued until i boarded the 963 bus at woodlands interchange. i think the sleep calmed me down a bit. and there was no haze to aggravate it. so i felt much better. much much better.

how come when i hear dealova now, it's a different guy in my imagination? and it's someone i didn't expect. because i thought he was unimportant until lately. but he doesn't have my heart. because it's already yours. where am i in your life?

the higher you get, the harder you fall

i was so high, and i just crashed back down to earth, maybe deeper down. you know how it goes. i hate it when plans screw up. this is the fourth time. i'm sick of it. coming from one who doesn't make plans, i hate it when this happens. even when you read this, it's too late. i'm too angry for now. i can't even be bothered to say anything to you.

thanks faidz. for lending a listening ear for five minutes before fire drill. you really are a good friend. thanks for caring and still offering to be a part of my life, even though we're not on the same floor of the hotel anymore. and for still being concerned about me and my erratic behaviour online and during asean quiz. i feel so, comforted knowing that you're watching over me despite being across the Causeway. and for making me feel good and the sweet words of affection sometimes. thank you thank you thank you. raah! must come down to singapore in december. fly down drive down, walk, cycle,... you mustmustmust come. and we'll have fun. you've got a choice, just you and me or whatever. as long as you pay. :))) and i'll go up to kl at the first possible chance i get and you can show me around town in your car. (i want to know what car you drive) thanks: the man, abang, datuk F, di-tanjung katong partner. whatever, i lov you all the same.

bad? mine is worse

"do you know what's the best part of falling in love?"
"what's that?"
"when you don't expect to..."

today was just bad. again a meet with evil carebear didn't materialise. i cried a lot today. after seeing IJ126's ong shuduan cry, and after every argument with evil carebear. yes we exchanged those three words, but today the tears just came easily. and hearing daniel telling me that he might not stay on in innova next year. i don't want to lose a friend that i had by my side for 5 years. and we've been in the same cca from since sec 1. my hands are shaking, i'm almost on the verge of tears again. and after looking at all the photographs developed. i feel so disappointed. i'm going to re-develop my photos at the usual shop which i can trust to make my photos as nice and clean as possible. how can you mess up 14/16 of my photos?

thanks to faidz for the small words of encouragement. the man. i'm sorry but i can be nothing more than your tanjung katong girl. because, er... up to you to figure out. but thanks for staying for an additional 1/2hour yesterday even though you could've gone home. and all the advice. thanks my friend. you have a rolling good time at the office on hari raya. maybe i'll visit you once i have the time.

i love you. you know i do. two days of written report cramming has taken its toll on me. oh, something to make me feel better. december y-camp! at jalan bahtera. memories of j1 camp. i want to be a rockified belayer again. but, maybe evil carebear isn't going. i can't stand separation. i take it badly. and the reason why i look forward to december y-camp is so that i can be with him. and it's 4 days. maybe i'll ask one of my friends. now i need a shoulder to cry on.

words of love and words so leisured

i'm grateful that i'm promoted. that's all i'll say. it helps to believe in God, it helps that people believe in you. but it doesn't help when you're being pushed to the brink of insanity. i'm terminating my tutor's services for good. after he completes the last 12 hours. i don't know why i'm up at 6.15am. my mum convinced me to sleep early, wake up early, after last night's stay in school. so now i'm actually still half-asleep without any breakfast in me.

to evil carebear, i'm sorry that yesterday's meeting didn't materialise. i had to stay in school, you had to meet your dad. but i promise i'll make it up to you. to little brother, i'm sorry i couldn't respond to your message but i was just too busy. i'll call you soon and we'll talk on the phone and make proper plans to meet up soon. but for now, don't worry. i've got your back and you know i'm always here for you, with australia network waiting. and you'll do fine. i bet you topped the class, even.

im going to eat something now. good morning and goodbye. see 0633a in school.

solely by myself

at the moment, i'm feeling overwhelmed. because i passed. all my subjects. well, except for gp. that's the last one. here are my results:

h2 mathematics - D (from a U)
h2 literature - C (from a D)
h2 history - C (from a D)
h1 chemistry - E (from a C)
h1 malay - C (no change)
h1 GP - unkown. but should be a pass.

missing my three favourite guys. my tanjung katong partner, my little brother and my evil carebear. especially my evil carebear. thanks for accompanying me last night while i cried, ranted and complained until 1.30am. :))) sweet emotion.

will have fantastic passion

i published an earlier post. but guess what? i deleted it. because i can't ever stay mad at the subject for more than 2 hours. aah.. sigur ros' gong is on my lovely mp3 player. today was the worst roller coaster ride i ever had. imagine having to run to the mrt station in the messy haze and almost dying, then getting high knowing you're one of the few who passed h2 mathematics, then having your group's written report thrown back in your face and told it was complete crap, then getting high knowing you improved in h2 literature, then plunging into abyss knowing you dropped two grades for h1 chemistry. to top it off, having to call someone seven times before he finally decides to wake up and telling you,"i guess not." when all you want to do is cry due to the overwhelming intensity you faced throughout the day. i think i reached an all-new low. rock bottom doesn't even cut it. i think it's now underground that i face.

thanks to the lovely pw mates liz and amanda, for listening to my rants and complaining incessently about crazy parents during open house and going out to take photos for oral presentation. after oral presentation, irregularity report, group project file submission, we're home free. i can't believe our group could be downsized to just three members soon.

i miss lying down on the esplanade roof garden. i miss walking endlessly. i miss taking endless photographs. i miss falling asleep on the train. i miss not knowing when i'll see you again because of the change in shift. i miss your smile with crooked teeth. i miss your jokes. i miss gazing into your eyes. i miss the almostkisses. i miss the love letters. but do i miss you? i moved on, but i left a part of me behind. i don't love you, i just want to hold on to the memory. it's been more than two years. you're too cruel to do this to me.

to the past i once knew, to the present i'll forever hold on to.

flutterby-ed

everytime you say those words, it sends shivers up and down my spine. no matter what medium you say them in, it still has the same effect.

we'll walk down the streets together again. and sit by the river and watch our troubles float away.

hello, world

i don't want to talk about open house. so, here are the photos from open house
preparation before open house started. zhiyang looks lost.

the anatomy of a floorball

after 4 years of friendship, the craziness prevails...

... until sometimes, i just stop trying to fathom

she who makes history lectures more bearable.

noob moment no. 1

noob moment no. 2

you know the day's dwindling when you start dancing like a drunk

meet wayne koh. even he has a mohawk.

the narcissist.

everytime i hear once's dealova, i imagine us dancing together to it. you embracing me, leading. me, with eyes closed, moving closer to breathe in the scent of you. us moving across the floor, silently synchronised. perfect

drying tears

i just want someone to talk to. just to watch me cry and not stop the tears from flowing. because that person would understand. i'm insecure too. there are always moments that i falter and i hit rock-bottom. because, i am human after all.

i think i'll just crawl into this tiny space

love is like a red, red rose. my first literature lecture in innova jc, and this is the first thing i learnt. another wasted day in school. i should have asked for two day's of mc. rarr! wasted my screaming efforts last night panicking over insights & reflection. oh well. a short day in school though. literature lecture was just sleep inducing. and history was, well, crappy if you end up sitting with 0643a. but i do love yanni though. so it wasn't that bad. haha. and the light-heartedness of lecture was something i needed.

and math? i just do not want to talk about it. mr phua was absent, mia. so, no math paper. so i'm panicking and worrying whether i passed or failed. if i pass math, i've got hope. if i don't, i'm not even deliberating my chances. if i fail, i leave. i won't even fight for the 200 retainee places. i'm not worth it. i'd rather go polytechnic, get a diploma, get a job. not going to worry about life at this point. and history tutorial was a watch-videos-on-liz's-macbook session. and being interrogated by amalina over something. and apparently, now liz knows i love the beatles. because she could hear them playing in my mp3. the beatles are good. it's been a hard day's night, and i've been working like a dog...

open house tomorrow! yay. photo taking opportunities everywhere. innova finally has a school song. it's very pop but i didn't really hear the full song. i might get to see someone tomorrow.

solemnly convene to make the scene

sigur ros has the ability to calm me. it's becoming like a drug. sort of like soma to me. auditory soma. melancholic melodies and haunting voices. like mew, i once said. but not quite. there's the hint of hope, except you don't really know what the singer is saying. but you can feel it. and it speaks to you. beautiful. everyone needs a musical high once in a while. mine comes from sigur ros. gong is so hypnotic and compelling. it's something you try to resist but can't quite pull yourself away from. that, my friends, is the magic of sigur ros. it's like being sucked into icy water, it shocks and drowns you, yet it's refreshing and exhilerating.

i'm trying to think rationally to be able to do my i&r. i hate project work. the good part is, that it's mid-october. which means, final written report next wednesday. (yes!) and it'll only be oral presentation and submission of i&r and group project file in november. and that it'll be the end of project work! i don't even think i can go university at this point. strike out. mid-october. which means next month will be mother tongue a level and i'll be a fat happy doughnut running around, brandishing my red exel edge source floorball stick on the court. can't wait, can't wait. floorball girls going to have a field day on saturday. i like fast, light balls and my long stick. oh man, that sounds wrong. i think i'll get my math paper tomorrow. then maybe i won't be a fat happy doughnut by then. poopoo. plus, got around developing some of my photos. yes! my gigantic photo frame with a lone picture of tulip x-rays will have something more interesting added on. yayness. i love post-exam projects.
what's that coming over the hill, is it a monster?!

branded

had very bad diarrhea this morning. but what the hell, decided to go to school. in school, was feeling really weak and felt bad nausea and eventually, vomitted. was sent home by the school as a suspected noro virus case. but not to worry, a check with the doctor and i'm bouncing healthy. healthy and sleepy, actually. just the stomache disagreeing with something i ate.

aye. the making of justin timberlake's sexyback. ooh. i think the song has the effect of getting girls' sexy on. vomiting isn't the most fun thing to experience. thankfully, the school did not decide to quarantine me. if they did i'd be in deep shit because i'd have to miss open house this saturday. i want to be part of open house. and someone said he might pop by! woo...

in love, there are always mistakes made. you can count on it.

:))))

the person i can never stay mad at for long periods of time. happy days ahead, sweetie.

i dedicate this to you: i can fall into your open arms. because they are the most welcoming. if i made you angry, i apologise. if i hurt you, i didn't mean to. if i made you cry, i should be shot. not all that glitters is gold; not all those who wander are lost. (JRR Tolkien)

for what it's worth

today was a real blur. because it was so short. and totally pointless to come to school. pfft. like seriously. i mean, which school in its right mind asks their students to come back to school during marking days to do project work and give talks? only ours. oh well. papers are going to be returned tomorrow i heard. horrors. well, another part of my nightmare. might as well get it over and done with. *fingers crossed* had a talk by the singaporean mountain climber. erm, mr khoo. that's all i remember about his entire name. bah! anyway, he was telling how his job involved just sitting in front of the computer. then he said that if you kept looking at the square screen, you may end up being a square too. and i said something i shouldn't have to leonard. "He does look quite square though..."

guess what came in the mail for me today? my complimentary PAssion card. yep. i actually signed up for it. because admiralty cc were giving it to us for free. so, what the heck? and it's very pretty anyway. and discount at BURGER KING!!! haha. i love bk. i love bk. right.

had to stay back to prepare for this saturday's open house. ended up with paint on myself. still trying to scrub some of the paint off my fingers. poopoo. to secondary school kids who read my blog, please come to innova junior college's open house this saturday, 14th october from 10am-5pm. visit the floorball booth. attractive prizes to be won.

it looks like it's going to rain. but i bet it's the haze playing tricks on my mind's eye. enough! just rain. please. so the acid rain will be over and done with. then i can walk in the rain without worrying that i'll corrode. and flood my ratty nikes! i love my nikes. even though the left shoe has a hole in the sole. (groovy. it rhymes.) my faithful shoes that have seen the top of Mt Jantan in Karimun. i love those shoes.

she loves you, yeah yeah yeah

cellophane flowers

i cannot fathom why people would purposely skip school. it's boring because you can't go out. people will suspect you played truant (pronounced tu-wang by the NSmen) and your other friends are in school. no, i didn't skip school. having cough and throat irritation. not an infection of the noro virus.

spent the day with mr faithful lappie. he should be my soulmate sometimes. got my beatles groove and drew carey green screen show to keep me company. yea. hmm. other people are having fun post-exam activities. the little brother is roller-blading at ecp, while innova students have to slave away with pw in school. they have dragon-boating tomorrow. fun, right?

you in the sky with diamonds

i just need you to know

listen to shayne ward's no promises. it's really a sweet song. something you and your partner should dance to when you're alone in the middle of the night. don't mind the haze-infected brain of mine because i'm missing someone bad. i'm sorry i turned down a date. actually, the haze has cleared up significantly, thanks to the wind. but no rains yet. maybe the monsoon season hasn't arrived. can't wait for the rainy season to arrive. then it's hello to:

1. snuggling up with the blanket
2. waking up feeling lazy rather than sticky and sweaty with heat
3. an excuse to get a blazer (i have my own money to get one)
4. walks in the rain
5. my ratty nikes flooding

i do not like the hot, sunny weather. (unlike someone) hence, i welcome the rain with open arms. plus, good excuse to stay in and read and listen to my music. which reminds me, i have to re-copy mew back into my mp3. sigur ros is really really beautiful to listen to. i read this on one of the multiply pages: only cool people listen to sigur ros.

i lost 2kg. i lied to everyone at home. so they won't feel bad having to stand next to the stick. my mum was commenting that being skinny isn't that good. and she compared me to delifrance baguettes! skinny, but don't have much feeling. very hard some more. yah yah. i got the hint. big time.

yesterday there was an annoying mitsubishi evo driver (i need to point the car out to someone. apparently he reads my blog.) there was an old man crossing. old man who had to use a walking stick and can only walk at a slow pace. yes, the light is green, but pedestrians have a right of way. what? didn't you learn that at driving school? even i know the rule. just because you own an expensive car, it doesn't give you the right to be honking and honking. you think your car horn sound very nice, ah? mine nicer and louder. you don't even know what the hell is going on then want to act big. bloody ass, you want the taxi driver in front to run over the old man is it? ccb. then speed tunjuk terror nampak. but guess what, retribution came in 20 seconds and you were boxed up in no time by the other drivers. knn, your car big, ego also big. oh please, mitsubishi evo and all you sports cars are useless on singapore roads. you can't even go past the 90km/h speed limit on the highway and the roads are filled with traffic lights that stop you every moment you try to gain speed.

video killed the radio star.

sole groove

ikea day! my favourite yellow and blue store. bought a lot of stuff for $144.90. and my mum was worried. she was worried that if she let my sister and i loose, we'd go past her $500 budget. hey. so anyway. there's always something interesting there. today, i get something new for my photo frame. this is really cool. if you remember my old blog's first few skins, it was an x-ray of a flower. so now, i've got a picture of the x-ray of some tulips. 2 actually. i'm using the white one at the moment.

i miss acrylic paints. i feel like going out and buying them. i don't know what for. i loved using them to paint those ikea frames that used unfinished wood. what child-like fun i had. i wonder what happened to my acrylics. misplaced i suppose. even if i found them, they're probably dried up by now. poo.

i miss you. you're one of the few who understand me so well. you understand me so well, it scares me sometimes. but maybe that's why we click so well. love is fragile. let's cherish this moment forever. because losing you in any way would be the hardest thing for me. i always have you in me. "kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku" - 'dealova' (once)

bizarre hometown

what's that coming over the hill? is it a monster? is it a monster? i'm sorry for this lame introduction. but that's what i'm listening to at the moment. i'm having a rockout moment. i miss all my ASEAN homies at the moment. jonas sent me an email that had a picture of us and hafiizh and maryam and i felt a tear flowing down my cheek. what a great impact the whole thing had on me. is there a possibility of a reunion? or do we have to organise our own? or do we get free invites to the next ASEAN quiz? (girl, dream on...)

really feeling the heat of the haze. PSI was up to 150 just now. 150?! imagine how bad it is in indonesia. ooh. oh well. god works in mysterious ways. maybe by His grace, a miracle will happen to save us all. why are they so inconsiderate. isn't there any other way to get land? pfft. pity the girl who's suffering from skin irritation.

hoppipolla with me.

the way you look

hmm... project work is getting to me. like the haze too. i had skin and throat irritation just now. bloody hell. psi up to 130. how not annoying is that? it gave me a headache. to make it all worse, the bus i took had no aircon and the ride was jerky. a combination for disaster - giddy spell and nausea. bleugh.

really tired and zonking out. maybe i'll take a nap first before doing project work. plus i'm really thirsty but i can't drink water because i'm fasting but actually all i want to drink is coca cola despite having a cough because i learnt that coca cola was once produced as a cough medicine so i'm going to ask someone to get a bottle for me. that took up a lot of energy out of me. pfft. good bye.

like space shuttles they point high into the almighty sky.

night drive

yes promos over. was a mixed day today. but thanks to yanni and her gang, i feel much better. papers ended and guess what? had a hockey test. passed the damn thing. oh yeah. so i'm a happy nutella.

stupid haze. make me sick with cough. and dust allergy kicking in. odd sneezes here and there. really annoying. can someone educate those farmers in sumatra that they're killing other people, even if they can't see? someone should bring them out here to show them how the haze is affecting everyone else adversely. i've got hay fever, i suspect. cough, constant sneezing but no runny nose, and irritated skin.

night drive! but the haze was really bad. couldn't see anything. fetched my dad and went adam road to eat. (i'm a pig. eateateat) good food always makes me feel better. plus i have a mummy i can talk to about school problems.

i know she hates me more. but i couldn't care. because there are other sincere people who care about what happens to me. because i care about what happens in my future. boo you.

and why the hell do you want to look emo? tapered jeans? honey, hell no! before you turn into a mat. i have to intervene. please listen to yanni. she does have a fashion sense. so do i. you just don't notice you will not look emo. please don't be a wannabe. wannabes are losers. poopoo. i'm sorry, but i have to tell you the truth.

hoppipolla (hoping into puddles)

they're from iceland. cool. (see-ur ros)

Brosandi
Hendumst í hringi
Höldumst í hendur
Allur heimurinn óskýr
Nema þú stendur

Rennblautur
Allur rennvotur
Engin gúmmístígvél
Hlaupandi inn í okkur
Vill springa út úr skel

Vindurinn
Og útilykt af hárinu þínu
Eg lamdi eins fast og ég get
Með nefinu mínu

Hoppípolla
I engum stígvélum
Allur rennvotur (rennblautur)
I engum stígvélum

Og ég fæ blóðnasir
En ég stend alltaf upp
(Hopelandic)

Og ég fæ blóðnasir
Og ég stend alltaf upp
(Hopelandic)

(if you don't understand, here's the english translation)
Jumpin' Puddles

Smiling
Spinning 'round and 'round
Holding hands
The whole world a blur
But you are standing

Soaked
Completely drenched
No rubber boots
Running in us
Want to erupt from a shell

Wind in
Aand outdoor smell of your hair
I hit as fast as I could
With my nose

Hopping into puddles
Completely drenched
Soaked
With no boots on

And I get nosebleed
But I always get up
(Hopelandic)

And I get nosebleed
But I always get up
(Hopelandic)

of hair and horrors

right now, i have sigur ros' hoppipolla wistfully flowing out of the lappie. i miss listening to this song. and i re-discovered my love for it while switching mtv on at 5am, while trying to study for chemistry (or was it math?) it's one of those songs that you can listen to and be enthralled and feel like you can disappear anywhere. lovely. i want to find the sigur ros album. they're swedish, i think. the song's not even in english. but who cares. i love them. and their melancholic tunes are a faithful reminder of mew. haunting melodies, mourning voices.

my hair is in the stage which i like it most. messy, tousled, unkempt. to top it off, a fringe that covers my eyes. my mum says i'll turn into cousin it soon, or worse, the female version of paul twohill. (this is a comparison i don't like. since his hair isn't naturally that way, unlike mine) i like how hair looks like when i just wake up. uncared for but soft. messy, yet elegantly rock. not to short for it to be sticking out, not too long for it to look like tarzan. maybe i won't go to the hairdresser anymore. until mr ng threatens to cut my hair to look like his. eugh. you have none.

i smiled so much last night, my cheeks hurt. thank you. and we need to talk, face to face, soon.

ok, i lied. and i think i need to tell him. maybe he won't be so forgiving about this one.

how cruel can you possibly be? how can you tell me you love me, yet you have feelings for another girl? in your own words, go screw yourself.

go figure it out.

you got my temperature rising like,

yes.. afi's miss murder is on mtv. my total rock out song. we're left to wonder why, he left us all behind! hoho. don't mind me. de-stressing after math paper, which left me totally braindead. why is friendster cocking up like totally? this is totally unfair. is this, like, my punishment for being the only person in class who doesn't take economics at all? plus my maid's cooking something that smells, like, totally great. (please pardon the bimbo language, my brain's still, erm, traumatised by math paper)

math paper was really out to kill me. i might pass. but not pass well. poopoo. daniel saw, are you good in math? if you are please help me too. the cat under my blog is being mean. it won't let me pet it now. after someone abused it. cut?! how cruel. maybe it's the same person who vandalised my mum's car. you're really about to get it if you are. i mean it about the erectile dysfunction thing.

it's been a long time since we've known each other. ok, not that long. but long enough to be intimately comfortable with each other. which is weird, we get along so well. but we're totally opposites of each other. maybe.. maybe..

my brain needs to be re-sent to it's maker. the wires have all gone loose. pooh.

You scored as Emo. Your Totaly Emo! Emo 40% Rocker, Mosher 30% Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev 25% Prepy 25% Skater 20% Goth 20% Trendy 10% What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy Ect created with QuizFarm.com

maybe i am emo. my hair is turning into a mop. long, shaggy, and these days, unkempt and uncared for. something someone enjoys. my hair is turning into cousin it soon. plus, as my mum says, my fringe is covering my eyes. and she's threatening trips to the hairdresser for me. you can't. plus, i'm experimenting with how the hair will look when it's long. dear, i know you want to see the end results. you might have to wait a little longer.

faidz, you're a sweetheart. went to beijing and didn't tell me? hmph. and you didn't get me anything. poohpooh. and don't try to video call me. from malaysia. my dad will flip. unless you offer to pay for my bill. since you've got a high-paying job and you're a swinging single bachelor so you got loads of moolah to spend. plus you always wear spiffy expensive-looking stuff. so you should be able to afford if i send my very thick bill to you. be a darling gentleman. and set a good example to the other guys. amusing. but not as amusing as someone else. love, you're tanjung katong girl.

rolling with the good times

as my good friend yanni once said, a good day always starts with a good morning. so, finally, i got the perfect morning that i always wanted. a very cute message is the way to help me start the day right. far from the usual good morning's i get, today's said - Happy childrens' day darlin! like i said, it people like this that make me a happy girl. and make me feel like a kid. and i got the same message from the little brother. oh hell. why are younger people wishing me happy children's day? i should be wishing them.

someone vandalised our car. our very nice, very reliable 6-month Idea Fiat. slashing tyres, eh? watch out, man. you better watch out. if you chance upon reading this after getting hard over the crime you did, you've been warned. whoever you are, you middle-aged loser, be prepared. i hope you lose your testicles. or worse, get erectile dysfunction. semi-moron. what? your car not nice is it? what did our baby ever do to you? loser. after 17+ years of living in this neighbourhood that i thought was safe and free of crime, someone has to shatter the image of idllyic bukit batok into this. sigh... after all that time being crime-free and so safe, it makes me rethink the definition of home.

no matter what, i hope today turns out good. because we're having briyani for break fast. yea. plus i have dear to make sure it turns out great. my life was complete. but when you came along, you made it perfect.