not today...

for some reason, i have no mood to celebrate this year's hari raya. i stopped caring about the money, i stopped being excited seeing the food, i stopped being excited counting down. maybe i've been to busy to even try to make the effort. even when i'm not, i'm using all my effort to recover all the energy i lost over project work and school stress. maybe not this year.

i have been a bad granddaughter. i haven't visited my grandmothers' graves at all for the fasting month. i've been putting it on hold since i started school. maybe not today, maybe not for this year. maybe it's because tomorrow when i go back to school, it's endless project work and intensive mother tongue for me until next friday. that's why i don't really enjoy the atmosphere. what's wrong with me?

i love the long bus rides the most. they're what i look forward to all the time.

maybe not.. we'll see.