will have fantastic passion

i published an earlier post. but guess what? i deleted it. because i can't ever stay mad at the subject for more than 2 hours. aah.. sigur ros' gong is on my lovely mp3 player. today was the worst roller coaster ride i ever had. imagine having to run to the mrt station in the messy haze and almost dying, then getting high knowing you're one of the few who passed h2 mathematics, then having your group's written report thrown back in your face and told it was complete crap, then getting high knowing you improved in h2 literature, then plunging into abyss knowing you dropped two grades for h1 chemistry. to top it off, having to call someone seven times before he finally decides to wake up and telling you,"i guess not." when all you want to do is cry due to the overwhelming intensity you faced throughout the day. i think i reached an all-new low. rock bottom doesn't even cut it. i think it's now underground that i face.

thanks to the lovely pw mates liz and amanda, for listening to my rants and complaining incessently about crazy parents during open house and going out to take photos for oral presentation. after oral presentation, irregularity report, group project file submission, we're home free. i can't believe our group could be downsized to just three members soon.

i miss lying down on the esplanade roof garden. i miss walking endlessly. i miss taking endless photographs. i miss falling asleep on the train. i miss not knowing when i'll see you again because of the change in shift. i miss your smile with crooked teeth. i miss your jokes. i miss gazing into your eyes. i miss the almostkisses. i miss the love letters. but do i miss you? i moved on, but i left a part of me behind. i don't love you, i just want to hold on to the memory. it's been more than two years. you're too cruel to do this to me.

to the past i once knew, to the present i'll forever hold on to.