productive

had training today. funfun. because got no coach. productively slack. mixed. whee. 3 hours of productive training. caleb is hm... a good coach. funny methods. like line-dancing. again, stick was a source of attention by most. especially the guys. the girls had seen it before.


ran 10 rounds of the futsal court. wasn't having breathing fits like before. did fun stickwork and playing methods. ifan is scary. after having injured me more than once, the fact that he shouted made it worse. fears and breathing fits were almost prominent. but games were more enjoyable than before. winks.


afiqah and i share the same sentiments about coach. haha! and my bottle visited the water cooler are no longer acquaintances. they're besties. and i miss someone terribly. even though.. boo


and i didn't know so many girls in my class like ____ ___. so funny. and i got bullied and abused by baizura because he waved at me and i took a picture with himin bintan. ouh. hates baizura. not! and just now had a conversation with amanda about him?! dots...


beri sahaja apa yang kamu patut aku harungi. aku sudahpun sedia walauapapun cabarannya.

listen to: Hard-Fi's Hard to Beat

i'm feeling down today. disappointed even. i don't care about him anymore. he means nothing to me. i feel the blues. high possibility of training tomorrow. if there is i don't mind. anything to get my mind off someone. smash the ball even if i have to. or the stick. but i love the stick. it was worth every cent. and the vivid colour. yes. fullstop. chickenshit i may be. but don't take my silence as consent to treat me the way that you do.


passed chemistry test despite the fact i only had 1/2 hour of sleep. funky.


Funky United Chocolate Kingdom. read properly, yes?

listen to: Stereophonic's Lolita

today was a daze to me. felt really sick today. but still forced myself to school despite the fact i was still feeling the dizzyness of last night's ferry ride. tried to control myself to prevent from puking or just losing consciousness even. ugh. misses someone terribly. boo you.

funky united chocolate kingdom

bintan was nice. here's a rundown of events. i'm supposed to be asleep because it's midnight. and there's school. frankly i'm not sure i'm going. but there's x-men.


so anyway, friday rushed home after school after sending bird home first. than checked and packed and fetched bird from his home and we made our way back to school. waited quite a while for the bus. the excitement was high. reached the ferry terminal, checked in and made our way to the ferry. i really hate the falcon ferry. it really makes me queasy. but at least the waters were not as choppy as the time i went karimun. ugh. reached bintan quite late. went to the resort. slept on the bus. nice-ness and all. had dinner and checked out the place we were sleeping at. loola resort. ncie-ness. made a new friend. his name is daniel too. j2. but he's nice. ended up chatting with him a lot. funfunfun.


woke up damn early. saw the sun rise. prettypretty. nice shots. yay. walked at the shore because it was low tide. morning fried noodles reminded me of my maid. went to the school. played games. had a bleeding toenail. (ugh. how it happened-?) played frisbee and dog and bone. the kids are seriously cute. chasing me to take pictures with them. haha. people with cameras are very popular. had a chat with the local teacher. he's pleasantly surprised that i can speak indon and javanese very well and ms vyna could hardly understand him. went for boom-netting. there was a freak accident. had to be stopped. everyone was quiet on the boat ride back. but once they announced that half of the group had to kayak while the rest take the speed boat, spirits were lifted and everyone bounced back to life. daniel and i quickly wanted the speedboat. but couldn't go all the way so we had to walk quite a bit to the resort. funfunfun. being characters from Lost and Creature from the Black Lagoon. loll. took a shower and watched the sunset with my new favourite-est person, hong ging, iris the ah mah and lay hen. relaxing. photographer always. i aspire to be a nature photographer. complimented by daniel over the sunset shot i took. it's lovely. watched lightning also. nice sight. lightning streaks, sunset, sunrise stars. i don't know why iris was criticising star-gazing. it's beautiful. serious. dinner by the campfire and did the friendship dance. the people with 2 left feet decided to partner each other and totally made fools of ourselves. i laughed till i almost had a breathing attack. wrapped souvenirs for orphans and slept.


woke up early again and went down to the shore again. supposed to have flying fox but it rained so we trekked around the village and had to build a raft. decided to go kayakking this time. 3 in a kayak with shi hui and ifan. ifan is damn dangerous. he keeps injuring me. last time he whacked me with the floorball stick and now the paddle. funny though. waded in the water while waiting for the rafters. of course the raft broke apart. daniel apologised (sweetie) for taking up my chance to do the flying fox. but decided to forgive him. went to the orphanage. i almost cried. the poem was damn sad and the story of the 3 toddlers just broke my heart. daniel was witness. i was tearing up. and the performance was funny. had to do an impromptu performance for them. cuties. went for dinner. loola staff are damn siao and hyper. had a walkabout to recce the stuff on sale. cancelled dinner order went onto the ferry. nice daniel shared his funny looking chicken with us. ended up sleeping on his shoulder. comfy. daniel so rocks. and he's so cute thinking that i forgot my shoebag when it's lay hen's. my new funnybunny. loll. hope to meet him more in school.

yes, no, maybe? i don't know

i'm seriously feling jitters. nervous over how i'm supposed to feel at the moment. watching project runway 2. i don't know why but i'm rooting for daniel franco. he's got a cute ass. i just repeated that line to my sister. whee.. he just cured destroyed and annihilated my bundle of nerves. like totally. of course. daniel franco. if he joins prject runway 3 i'll still worship the grounf he walks on. i find him extremely.. hmm.. i'll get back to you when i find the words to describe. for the moment, i'll just kick back and see how everything turns out. muackz to df. smilesz.

listen to: Yeah Yeah Yeahs- 'Gold Lion'

i don't know whether today is going to be a bad day. i forgot to bring my entire wallet. therefore, i only have my handphone, mp3, ez-link card (thankfully) and my laptop. ugh. lalalala.


ran this morning. 6 rounds. but still quite bad. but not as bad as yusi. 18minutes?! loll. and she started before me. haha. still got room for improvement. listening to yeahyeahyeah's gold lion. i love the raw energy. thank god for myspace. entertainment. had orson's no tomorrow and the perfects' shipwrecked on just now. loverly. need to train on running now. a lot. but no time. unless i wake up early before going to school for the holidays. no slacking. i'm in a sports cca now. i can't say i don't want to slack, like i did in band. hoho.


tomorrow's bintan trip. was thinking of ponning school to give me time to check and pack. looks like i can't. there's a history test tomorrow. woots, can. i miss my wallet. it's got money in it. which i can buy food with to fill my hungry stomache. now i have to endure until 5pm before i can leave school. or wait until 6, ask my mom and brother to fetch me and beg them to bring me out for dinner. my begging skills need practice. but i need to pack.


my dad's being unreasonable over me pe attire situation. i don't like pants and skirts. period. i'd rather be roaming the earth with just shorts on. or 3/4 pants. but i don't like full pants. especially if you want me to wear pants for pe and exercising shit. please. i don'ts likes constrictstions. so i'm sad that he wants me to buy school pants. i simply don't like them. they are not flattering. booly.

listen to: franz ferdinand- fabuluosly lazy

ouh.. sometimes i just feel so fabuluosly lazy. i have a sudden onset fear of running. god knows why. i feel like if i step on the track tomorrow morning i'll have an attack on my nerves. ugh. i hate running. i think pt without running is okay. just don't make me run. god... i want to cry right not. i don't know why. disappointed with someone maybe. but who? with one guy for not saying goodbye and leaving our friendship hanging. and another guy for treating me like litter. i feel damn.. ugh.. there's not even a word to describe my feelings. misses. boo you.


counting down the days. bintanbintanbintanbintan

listen to- The Flaming Lips' Yeah Yeah Yeah Song

listening to newly discovered bands. verdict? i like them. hoho. that's it. i'm supposed to be studying for tomorrow's summer test, especially peribahasa. ugh. do you think i am looking at the fact that i'm online right now?? i just realised both new bands are very goth-like. hurhur. no thank you. but still. music apprecation knows no boundaries. shall stick with my perfects and stuff.


realised that i missed shafizah loads. miss the bitching and all that stuff. haha. during madrasah when we're supposed to studying and stuff. but still managed to get (in my opinion) fantastic results. yepp.


things are getting weirdly freakily better for me. cheering up for bintan trip. which i so desperately need right now. my perfects are on. woots. but there's something wrong with the player. it keeps buffering. i feel disappointed. loving them though. and happy rock songs. like flaming lips and that kind of stuff. and definitely ORSON. loll. no tomorrow is just so nice.


ramly burgers seem to be a newly revived fetish. yum. all forms of pasar malam which is high in sugar fat and salt basically. can't you see i'm grinning from ear to ear? at least i'm not puking anymore. touch rugby + whiny opponent class = disaster for 0633a girls. ugh. per always. sooner or later you'll see a flying grey nike shoe. boohoohoo. and someone made me smile last night. thinking of all the childish secondary school antics. co-ed rocks.

screwdd

somebody shoot me please. i'm in school and suffering from perpetual death today.
slept at 4.30am woke up 40minutes later to bathe. my maid found me marooned on the sofa. too tired to get to bed. loll. bah.
was late in meeting dan. he looked so worried lah can. by 20 minutes. non-excusable. loll. just realised that there's a chemistry test today. i don't have the notes that i need. i'm perpetually screwdd. shit

the body doesn't respond. unsound mind and yadayadayada

ouh man my body isn't responding to what i eat very well these days.
god knows why.
friday ate went home feeling nauseous and weak.
yesterday ate kfc retched out everything when i wanted to brush my teeth.
ouh man this isn't good. everything either digested too quickly or it refused to stay in the stomache.
i need to get checked.
what if it jeopardises my bintan trip?
i do not want to be let down like this. it's too... ugh.


yesterday went woodlands library to discuss gpp. hogged an entire corner and stacks of time and businessweek asia and also the economist. we're committed to the cause. i'm feeling a burnout. i don't want to finish reading handmaid's tale. i dont know why. i only like the ranks women have there. wives, econowives, handmaids, marthas. marthas. lala.


gpp then. ouh. misses my funnyhunnybunny bestest best totally rockifying understanding super interesting almost perfect dear old friend. don'tknow why. he just makes me happy. he makes me high. he owes me for pangsehing me. boo you. my ever reliable pillar of strength. i live then.


ouh. no sleep tonight

if this is a sign of where are friendship is heading, i regret ever knowing you

after last update, felt as though i got some things off my chest. yesterday was umm... promised myself not to curse and swear. pentup emotions. was angry at someone. hence. ugh. had floorball practice. everyone's reactions were like seeing a baby. red stick. sorry. it's lovely i know. and everyone seems to be in love with my grip. licorice. was whacking the ball against the wall as hard as i could. anger left. and came back with coach's arrival. ugh. played games like nobody's business. played the most number of games with the seniors. ugh. had sudden shortness of breath, nausea, stitches and a runny nose. how crapped is that. but had to endure all my pain. coach was in one of his moods which i don't want to venture into. thank god he came late and he assumed we had already run. or else i'd be in a hospital bed right now. yea. for exhaustion. made us do 150 jumping jacks. ugh. but after j1 camp, oh you can't stand me now. ankle hurt. got a scolding from kasim and the teachers. my mom and brother had to wait an entire hour for me. my mother saved me fron being emotionally strained by being in pain. it's quite useful when you don't want to be seen crying in public. went home watched project runway 2. cheered me up a bit. DANIEL FRANCO FOREVER PLEASE. i'll have anything, as long as he's in it. even if he joined project runway twice. <3333


today was sports day. started out quite boring but was pretty excited as our house was like winning a lot of races, even the novelty 8 x 50m. not bad ms lin. had eye candy to keep me preoccupied. loll. champion house. not bad eh? haha.. met ms tan for gpp consultation. hence, my group is changing direction. shant tell you. it's a secret. i don't want you idea stealers reading my blog to know. hush. left school at around 2+ went to jurong point met my sister for lunch. yummyumm. watched a movie. OVER THE HEDGE!! i know you'd assume i watched da vinci code. inspired by toys r us. wanted to buy a video game actually. haha. but the game i wanted wasn't there. then it hit me, the games are supposed to be kid-friendly. ugh. i wanted something full of blood and gory, please.


i feel so stupid to have been taken in by your words. i hate you, now.

shit

i just feel like shitt. fullstop. after getting demoralising comments about gpp. i wann to give up. but i can't. because i'm no quitter. i wanted to find a corner. desperate. it's times like this i wished i was a drug addict. get high. but i'm not. this is shite. i want prozac now. or some chikenshit anti-anger pill. so i won't be mad at the world. whoever the hell came up with the idea to add project work into university admission is really asking for trouble. either he/she is super kolot and think we're in the fifties where all students do is study and go home and play. hell lah! Damn shit. demoralised. and pangsehed by someone whom i thought i could depend on. hell you.


something to make me happy tomorrow. fb training. yippee. my shiny red stick will breathe outside air after mulling around for over a month.

boo you.

so much pent-up emotions. i try to be strong but i'm too tired to comprehend anymore. all i want is his shoulder. that shoulder that comforted me through a time when i thought i couldn't make it. a time when nothing seemed right. a time i thought i lost myself. a time i felt dejected and frustrated. because he let me open myself up slowly, trustingly. i keep everything in. because i don't have you to talk to. because you're selfish. because i don't matter. i feel lost. you make me whole. you make me happy. you make me high. i try to forget you but i'm drawn to you. drawn to you like a moth to light. i can't get away from you. you're the thing that makes me sick but i can't let go. help me let go.


for that person i know.

i've got soul but i'm not a soldier

heyhey.. excited as even though there's summer test next week, there are more important things happening to.. woots. going BINTAN on friday. yeayea! all forms signed and handed in and $180 paid for in full!!! whee. plus there's afiqah and bird going for the trip. yay! three days. can lah. i'm more than willing to do anything, because it's in Bintan. yupyup.


misses dear old friend. probability of meeting soon. can't wait dear. he's been wrongfully accused of being my boyfriend?! nyehnyehnyeh. secret identity.


i'm going to lose it. school's getting on my nerves. so is my cough. my cough was so bad just now during mt that i had to to run to the toilet to let everything out, including my breakfast. hence, toilet stay was around ten minutes. really shite feeling. felt like going home but perservered throughout the day. i like the handmaid's tale. headphones takes lit too. coincidentally. more secret identity. and h1 chem was just a riot. with bo whatever his name is, it's never quiet. he practically talked no-nstop lah. and attempted to engage lenny and me into a conversation when we were both attempting to finish the assignment. haha.


addicted to you like an addiction to the perfects. you make me high.

addict

i'm a certified junkie. fullstop. i'm certified addict. i'm addicted to the perfects' shipwrecked already. keep listening till my laptop is refusing to play anymore of their songs. bloody hell.


okay it finally relented. yay! more the perfects... three days of indulgent eating. i cringe and shudder thinking of the dire effects indulgent eating can do to my body, plus my health. with my cough and all. bleugh. friday met amanda and liz to discuss gpp. (wide-eyed grins and overzealous ambitions) loll. i want my blonde ambition (lucky lucky you're so lucky, hint hint)*sighs* after that met my family at taka to eat at breeks. my new favourite eating place. move over swensens. the cheaper nicer version of you has arrived. faster too i add. nyehnyehnyeh. my sister got a new laptop. acer. nyehnyehnyeh. it's bigger than mine. but who cares. i want a small laptop. nyehnyeh.


yesterday went to kelong with my parents and some relatives. caught a fishie. short but fat. i'm a certified sampan person. i practically jumped off the damn thing onto the jetty. ate a lot of seafood. fish cuttlefish prawn and my long-awaited love, black pepper crab (scrumptious) my aunt stared as i dug through every flesh-filled crevice of the claws body and feet. coolness.


went for lunch at pizza hut bukit timah plaza. fun. cute waiter smiling away. with a funky unique name. shant say. mother's day meal. yumyum. brownie. delectably sweet. perfect weekend, sucky cough.

new sounds, fresh picks

new band alert! called the perfects. they added me on myspace. coolness. hearing their song shipwrecked. really cool sound. they describe themselves as a mix of new wave/ electro/rock. zafirah's verdict? lovesit. i love the mishmash of sounds, it makes me high... shall go find their album when i have the chance to rummage hmv soon, maybe next month. new addition to the wishlist: hmv vouchers. that total to more than hundreds of $$$, can? i'll be the happiest girl. they're like a mix of franz ferdinand and the bravery put together. with a mix of kanye west's crunk and the result is like an overdose of ladytron and the lcd soundsystem. i'm getting high with a result of just four songs. it's musical high. like i've never experienced before. with the energy of hard-fi, kaiser chiefs and arctic monkeys put together. with the 80's fashions of david bowie, duran duran and the cure. how perfect can they get?


LOVEITLOVEITLOVEIT. someone buy me their album Nigel is Dead. NOW!!!!

on medical leave

just got home. went to doctor ong first to get medicated. having flu. it's quite bad. i used 6 packets of tissue today. it's really disgusting okay. therefore i will be on medical leave tomorrow. can't stand being in school with a clogged nose which needs constant plumbing.


yesterday had a chat with dear old friend. he sleeps more in a day than i do in a week. bah! he really listened to my nonsense yesterday. especially when i was in the toilet rambling about with other people. to baizura, he is SO not my boyfriend. crappy. played touch rug yesterday. had to run 2 rounds for warmup. i was leading? despite flu and everything. couldn't really get into the game. too sick and watery-eyed to even pay attention to ms chua. all i remember is shiying's shirt being ripped by su.


miss you so much. lovesit when you're around.

LAPTOP!!!

yay! new laptop. samsung. silver. 100gb memory. 1.7kg. centrino duo. verdict? i love it.


death. almost got emotional at lit lecture. remembering too many dead people. my aunt, my grandmother. it's too hard. when i don't mourn rightfully. wounds still trying to heal themselves. heart still breaking when i think about it. i'm not prepared for death when it comes. i'll still cry.


i love headphones. bah! chummychummychummy. maths extra lesson tomorrow....

londontown

i'm bored. loll. dan's gone for floorball camp. i'm not in a division. slack. yupyup. lalala. missing someone badly. miss him a lot. boohoo. it's been a long time since we met. so, yeah.


my dad's getting me a laptop for my own. yupyup. therefore don't need to fight over computers. my mum's laptop keyboard is weird. everythig is shifted to the left.weird. loll. now choosing which laptop i want. acer.


chickenshit. i love you! there i said it.