soma tablets make me high

finally. internet. at sim right now doing this because the internet is still wonky and there's and electrical outage at home. poo. this is depressing. going to bugis street later to get stuffs. tralala.

you always know the right buttons to push.

finally

my internet connection has been screwing with me for the past few days. finally it's ok. whee.

who do you think you are? you are nothing in my life.

combination for disaster

bad shit.

1) no breakfast
2) late for training.
3) ankle re-injury while running laps
4) kasim was taking us
5) shouted by her during games
6) hyperventilation.

pfft.

poo

running around esplanade. playing catching at toys r us. sitting by the river. fun.

next week will be the end of november. and yet, holiday assigmnents aren't completed. even glanced at. maybe i shouldn't go y-camp. maybe i shouldn't go kl. maybe i shouldn't go out. i should sit down and grit through it now.


yeah, right!

love
-zafirah the procrastinator. :)

he poured blue milk into her ear

firstly: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAS! tralala. iloveyou honey. and we'll be meeting later. yay!

there was this song on lush 99.5fm. it's really nice. trumpet jazz. and the singer kept repeating this line - and, he poured blue milk into her ear at odd intervals. the song is really nice. but lush has no one speaking so i don't have a clue what that song was. aah!

short one. will update later.

tralala. (edited)

really bad morning. but googly fun afternoon with people i love most.

this happened this morning in this order:
1) i had to wait 20 minutes for the bus
2) the auntie on the escalator didn't move aside and 'tsked' at me when i tried to catch the train. therefore, by the time i reached the platform, the train doors closed and was leaving the station.
3) my 21-month-old pink creative muvo slim is spoilt. the thing hanged everytime i plugged in my earphone. *grumble grumble*
4) i was late for ogl meeting.
5) and my committee was in trouble with our exco ic.
6) saw idham at imm. *dimwit*

but the day got better after i left school:
1) for once, i got to be late in meeting danial.
2) we met :)
3) i convinced him to have lunch with my sister and i
4) long bus ride!
5) lunch with my two favourite people. :))
6) we had fun during lunch. :)))
7) we ran in the rain to the bus stop.
8) we took a cab to creative warehouse at jurong industrial business park.
9) i bought a new mp3 player! lalala. zen neeon 6gb. red colour. :))))
10) took a cab to imm. went to macdonalds where the 3 of us were mulling on our own stuff. danial and i were fiddling with the internet. and laughing non stop. had an online chat on his blog. had fries and ice lemon tea. :)))))
11) laughing at him saying 'hello' at random people. :))))))

(edited)
random: khairul, one of the hockey guys who for some reason remembers my name, said hi. lala. afiq and i just gave each other a look. because it was pretty random for him to make me the subject of discussion with hakim and hafiz. i hate having the same name as someone who is of totally different character than me.

photos from my sister. end reunion tomorrow. happy early birthday nas! yay. (end of edit) lalala. i'm a happy girl now :)

performing monyet

lalala. had literature/the tempest workshop. fun. dots. at first, was in the same group with dexter. lalala. then went for lunch.

after that, went to lt5 to continue the workshop. aman and shelly performing the scene was so funny. and we had to direct the thing. aman trying to act like a dainty lady was hilarious for nuts. i swear i died laughing. funny.

lalalala. get well soon. me visiting you everyday if you get admitted into hospital is no excuse to not want to get better. hmph.

i'm naked just like a pig

kenduri at my aunt's shop, since she's closing down. i finally, finally got to carry sofia. and nawfal. but nawfal cried. hasn't warmed up yet. and sofia, even though she was warming up, she was sleepy. so, after me, was my mum, then abang zam. and she fell asleep when abang zam carried her. she is so cute. kak noy came. talked about getting driver's license (bright eyes) next year. race, race!

nawfal. adorable little dumpling.

even from far i was screaming her name. sofia!!! my new favourite.

my mum makes it a ritual to take a photo of us together. people insist we look alike. lala.

to all readers: please give comments on the last photo whether i look like kak noy. i think she's a whole lot prettier than me.

fishsticks! hazwan's brother is hot. and the sister too. good-looking. but i'll be the loyal lover. love. :))

roasting in your eyes.

it's like a swollen summer

reunion with little brother! rah! nice. after that went to town. went heeren. met kak noy at hmv. got a very very good deal. seriously. 2 t-shirts for $50?! and one costs $35. got my franz t-shirts. like finally. i'm a happy girl. lalala. wanted to buy sigur ros. but decided against it. maybe next time. but the album cover looks like a notebook cover more than your typical jewel case. kind of like mew's and the glass-handed kites album. whee. a long list of cds to get. rahrahrah.

if you're wondering, it is inverted. not a camera trick. :))

i love lucy. she rocks. shout that name. shout it loud and proud

you just know the right spot. don't ask if i'm alright, just leave me breathless like you always do. just run along with it.

i feel like i'm getting dumber.

stop, drop and roll

had training. damn tired. forgot how to play floorball. was playing on instincts. for all the matches.

you're on fire

i could slow down if you want me to

yesterday: breakfast with him and we went our separate ways. me to school, him to chalet. not quite.

you tried your hardest to convince me to join you all the way to pasir ris. pasir ris. from woodlands. dear, i just simply don't like to go to pasir ris. i have my reasons. you don't have to know them yet. and you want me to be around people i don't know. you know i don't like it. you know i'll give you attitude and i'll sulk and i'll make my 'bosan' face. you know you know. but you just chose to ignore. until i stopped talking. stop talking. literally. for the entire two hours. people who know really know me well know that i don't stop talking, even when i have a sore throat and i've lost my voice. for some reason, you have the ability to do so. but still, thanks for accompanying me. even though i made you very late to meet your friends.

just for you, just for you, just for you.

i know what i am

and, i miss this guy the most-est:

my neighbour, my teammate, my confidant, my partner-in-crime, my best friend. oh, where have the days gone by? rock on amarul. you'll always be in my heart.

photos from raya outing -
at norul's house. i look very cheena. cheena minah. right.

at nazmi's house: me, my sis, kak lia and ismail. :)

some bugger opened the van door. so as my sister parked, i snapped. that's xavier by the way.

feeling worn out by the long ride jurong west - hougang.

too bad sofian wasn't in it. but it looked better than when he was. :)

kak marie insisted that these were twisties. :)

we really were at mardan mamat's house. :)

prisoners. punished for stealing kueh from the makcik's house. shame on you

attempting prison break?

oh yeah. more random photos for you people to enjoy. enjoy!


'marcus, why your pants wet? what you do?!'


pointers make good fencing weapons. en garde!

and i'm your villain

as we ride along under an optimistic sun

went to the dentist. i like the filling that dr foong put into my right side. because it's the new special kind that you can't see. lalala. i seem to like blogger beta more and more and more by the day.

hot date this saturday! yay. shall make plans soon alright? and we can talk crap crap crap. or in our case, some intellectual crap. whee! lovelove. missed you loads this few months. how about lunch by the river? sounds fun. shall propose it to him later. and it's not him him. it's my long-lost friend. :)

i saw daniel saw. (er..) his hair is growing, growing, growing! shall pick up the courage to talk to him soon. good luck for the rest of your papers, my friend. :)

nice mr mahmood fahmi invited us, his lovely history students, to his wedding next sunday. he even showed us the photographs he took with his fiancee. whee. and we saw ms loo's ones. (accidentally, thanks to mr mahmood) 'cher, you had to catch him is it?' 'yah, i did. didn't you see me pulling him?' raah! i love my history teachers. ama's going. whee. i think i'll go with her. bringing my camera. :)

the radio sings that Everybody song by REM

skin deep

i'm boring you aren't i? you said it, you've never seen me dress up, wear make up, do my hair, wear a dress. a dress. which universe galaxy did you fall from? i don't wear dresses. i simply find it difficult to move in one. i have no occasion to wear one. i do not like dresses. fullstop. period. get it into your head. you want to change me into something i'm not. guess what? i hate it when someone forces me to be something i'm not. because i'll freak. i lost myself once. and you think i'm going to let it go again because you want me to look like other girls? well, i'm NOT other girls. you just don't get it, do you? if you do not like me for how i dress and who i am, then maybe we don't have anything in common then. go ahead, walk away.

hypocrite.

"why they think i'm like that?"
"because you're cute. no, adorable. you don't like cute, i know"

having breakfast somewhere while i'm typing this. went to school to do the last part of the every-annoying project work. this time it's numbering the pages for the lovely project work markers. ugh. peedoubleu is so annoying. left to submit everything online and that is it. ms tan says we can't get rid of all the pw stuff that is conquering space in our homes and laptops. finally, i can start on my project that has to be complete by 29th november, that's the latest. going to buy paint later. and the canvas another time. :) love.

i'm just a happy kid

i feel tempted to delete all the project work junk from mr lappie, my soulmate. it's taking up a lot of space. then i'll have more space for songs and photographs. love!

stuck with the heart of a sad punk

tralala

raya outing with the cc gang. pure madness. especially if md norul ansar is in your van. tralala. and danial afiq decides to join in. wedgies. nine!. love. will post pictures soon. love. :)

i'm missing you

"why you like that one?"

"because i'm like that lah."

tralala. end of pw. officially. officially. which means. no more frustration. no more arguments. no more crazy tight deadlines. no more delaying outings. no more wrinkles. no more seclusion. no more tears. no more worries. except, for results. poo.

went to school to submit i&r. (now i can finally breathe) i think marcus secretly wants to be a traceur. don't ask why. but if you see him jumping around the school the way he does, i think he's on his way to become a traceur. ah sheesh. i've got dry skin. from all the stress of pw. and i think i'm coming down with the flu soon. poo.

here's to pictures


the nerd in us. even her.


marcus says photographs steal his soul. he's pretty much alive now. and he left his mark everywhere.

on people...

(poor amanda)


... and even school property


very good great company indeed. sorry.

i remember in sec 3, cikgu ahmad (even though i really hated him because he was naggy) once played p. ramlee's getaran jiwa and the whole class was actually interested and we were quiet because we really loved that song. of course, it was p. ramlee who sang it. he wrote it. that was the only plus point in sec 3. other than ytutsam (hurhur. it's mastuty) she is a really lovely lady who always tried to cheer us up in sec 3 and told us inspiring stories when we were in sec 4 to make sure we worked hard for o's. like a big sister. (she was only 27 last year) pgl, that peribahasa game that we played to fight like small kids over some childish sweets, dumb bahas. (it was cut along alliances) i remember this time last year, we were cuckoo kids mugging for o's. and freezing in front of the aircon. and yet, we still had time for crushes and conflicts. funny how things change over a year.

that's all. your group mates are always a great source of hugs. it's true. love lots.

listen to nada surf's happy kid and sigur ros' gong. feelgood music.

i should come with my own warning label

i am sorry that i am an ass whenever we argue. that was not an argument even. that was me getting mad and you trying to figure me out. i'm sorry. i should come with a warning label. so you know me. i admit, when i'm mad, i tend to... clamp up and ignore people and things. i know i shouldn't have left you hanging and calling after me continuously.

i forgive you. now i apologise. i just need time. i don't like telling people why i'm upset or angry. i tend to make people figure out. i'm sorry i made you figure out your mistakes. but that's how i've been. i'm sorry. as i walked, i cried. and i couldn't bring myself to look at you.

i'm so sorry. i want things to be how they used to be between us. at a time when things were simple and when it wasn't complicated.

today was a bad day.

sobre

screwed.up.bloody.op.bloody.hell.

i really want to watch a movie with him. but pw comes first honey. hope you understand. because the constant arguing is taking its toll on us. it's frustrating. for some reason, we can't seem to let go of each other.

i like hearing your voice when you just wake up. i like the growl. and the squeak. and the murmurs. and the mumble. and the confusion. and the softness. and the exasperation. and the moment when you finally give me a straight answer.

i like confusing you. and annoying you with all the dares. (don't just say you want to do something) and hearing you say,"doooon't" when you get frustrated with me. i like when you squeeze my arm and pull me to you when i fall asleep on the bus. and when you whisper in my ear. and when you rest your head on mine. and when you laugh at me everytime i tell you i'm freezing cold when you tell me that you're warm instead.

i miss trips to toys r us. i miss being chased by you. i miss playing with all the toys and gadgets. and the retractable hand thing that you like to grab me with. it'll poke your eye out one of these days. watch out.

i miss how we used to be.

outsiders

for some reason, we both feel the same about something. she is, afterall, my closest floorball mate. we somehow clicked the first time we met. and, as they say, the rest is history. for some reason, we feel completely lost without the other during trainings. and for some reason, we're always with each other. same line/team during games and matches, bintan trip together, same relay. and we are the outsiders.


she never fails to cheer me up when i feel down. like yesterday with our spoofs and antics. she has this aura around her that is really powerful. be it her happy aura or her angry aura, she unknowingly gives it out and you can sense it when you meet her. we are outsiders when it comes to company. outspoken, yet introverted. we're weird, abstract thinkers. googlypoo. my sister. outsiders, we are.



he makes me laugh at the end of a bad day. for some reason, he always sms-es when i need cheering up. and he always says the right things. by twist of fate, we're both nerds. N-E-R-D! maybe it's because we're brother and sister. (better than my previous younger brother) we're outsiders, yet we have our own posse which we founded with 28 other students from other ASEAN countries. my solace.

dystopian

i want to watch this film. when it comes out. if it doesn't show in singapore, i'm going to find the dvd/vcd. it's so cool. it's some sort like the handmaid's tale. because there's infertility due to radiation and those who are fertile are coveted. no, it's not about the men being forced to be pregnant because the women can't. it's about how the protagonist tries to smuggle a woman who's 8 months pregnant somewhere where she'll be safe.

i'll suppress the tears. i'll suppress the frustration. i'll show you the smile, the laughter and the joy that we both need. but i'm not strong enough on my own. the wind is in our hair, the waves are crashing against our feet. we're interlinked in this world. i hope you see it. - love you.

crash

i've been feeling like i'm crashing and burning a lot this past few days. maybe the stress of oral presentation taking effect and the strain of it all. oh, why does this keep happening to me? maybe i should just leave and forget about guys for a while. then i can set myself straight. i can't keep going around in circles figuring out what i really want. i always seem to doubt you, and i end up doubting myself a lot too this days. because you keep telling me things that confuse me. i'm not like other girls. surely you realised that. i don't dress like them, talk like them, act like them. i make an ass out of myself every other day. the only skirts i own are my school skirts and the ones for asean quiz. i detest wearing high heels and i'd rather be seen in sneakers and jeans. you know that don't you? but i get the feeling you don't like me because of who i am. and i'm fine with it. i'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for someone i'm not. i don't even know if you're sincere. because if you aren't, then stop playing games with me. you don't realise the consequences of your actions sometimes and how, in the end, they end up hurting me too. you think being rebellious with them hurts only them. but the consequences end up pushing me away. i've been pushed till the end. maybe it's better if we're not.

maybe it's better if i keep on waiting for that person to return.

it's always better on holiday
so much better on holiday
that's why we only work
when we need the money

my desperate cry for help. in serious need of girlfriends.

doodly dee

i'm sitting in school with a bunch of people listening to amanda lee telling us about her tooth extraction and the rubber bands. :))) love.

evil carebear: i pray know that you'll be fine. because you shouldn't be so affected by something so small. even though it's not what you wanted, you'll survive no matter what. because you know i'll always be behind you all the way. even if it's art, or literature, or whatever, you'll definitely succeed. you just have to let your creativity shine through. i want to see your lovely smile and play with your fauxhawk and attempt to flatten it. because as your mummy once said, you'll be a popular person. and watch you try to humour me when i feel down. i know you need cheering up right now. i'll always be by your side, every step of the way. (even when you're scared) and i'll comfort you and even sacrifice my sleep when you need me.

"you look better with your hair tied... but i prefer when you don't"

"why?"

"don't know... just..."

some conversations don't need further continuation. i like things simple. i like it when we're quiet. i prefer not talking sometimes. and we just sit and stare at the outside world while we look safely from the inside. and you know i like the most comfortable spot.

watched high school musical. and half of v for vendetta. can you imagine? i watched it on the fifth of november, which is today. :) coincidence. i love my brother. he bought both stories. whee.

i am going to take a nap now. feeling really tired and had lack of sleep.

darn diddly

meet my darn diddly cuties: (sorry dear, they're so much cuter than you. you're a pretty boy. :)



her name is sofia. she's about a year old. she looks like my mummy when she was young. (veerry young) and she needs time to warm up to you. she can say 'aper tu?' when you ask her that question. even though she has a pouty face, she'll light up when you make a face with big eyes and a huge smile. she likey likey touch electronic gadgets like handphones and digital cameras. she will end up like her makcik liyana and makcik zafirah and pakcik farihin who all love electronic gadgets and have an endless fascination with these things. :)


his name is naufal. he just turned 2 years old. he can run around now. he doesn't speak that much but he can say 'bird' and 'tengok'. even though shy at first, once he warms up to you, he's an endless chatterbox and can be very cheeky at times. he doesn't mind the attention and can be very rough with objects such as my madagascar penguin and my other stuffed toys. he may be prone to throwing things at you and trying to grab stuff from you. he likes posing for photographs and has cute poses when you show him the camera. he likey likey puffy faces and will attempt to deflate such faces and will burst into a fit of giggles when he tries to poke puffed up cheeks. he likey likey my handphone because it takes nice photographs of him (like this one. plus has goood quality for a phone) he also likes the photographs of babies inside especially the one i'll show you next. :))


and say heello! to my grandnephew yazid. he's about 3 months old. this adorably round fellow is all giggles and cherub chubbiness. he likey likey to smile from afar and laugh at you, but doesn't take to strangers carrying him. he is as round and chubby as my madagascar penguin. (i hate this comparison, but they're both so so cute and round like each other.) you can definitely fall in love with him the moment you set eyes on him. he likes to laugh and likes the attention given to him. he doesn't mind silly faces and likey likey them the most. he can laugh about absolutely nothing and has a certain inexplicable fascination with watching my mummy as she speaks. but watch out. you can only admire him from afar, because he's like a warning system when you get too near or try to carry him. he makes me so tempted to pinch his chubby cheeks and talk baby talk with him. :)))


my darlings. cute right? but you're still the one for mee. and you look cute when you pout too.

misses and hits

i miss the camps during march holidays when all the uniformed groups and band would have camp at the same time. it was hyper mad. and remember we were so pissed we couldn't join in the campfire in sec 2. rehearsing for syf late into the night while the other uniformed groups were enjoying themselves. and having to go through late night fire drill. and have the day i/c scream at us. funny as ever. she didn't even give dressing and she want to do head count. then scold us for her own mistake. then finding out that syf had to be postponed till july (3 months of added band hell) crying over the stupid sars pandemic because it made my life miserable. (they gave us a month's worth of homework on the last day of the holiday. shitass) i'm digressing.

i miss the band camps. except last year when some people went absolutely power-crazy. i miss night walk. we only had for two years. and then the police came and spoiled our fun. googlypoo. i remember mathangi getting scared, and pulled farhana and i so hard that all 3 of us fell down on our asses. and she started crying hysterically after ibnu scared the nincompoops out of her. i miss patrol duty. walking around and telling people to go and sleep. ('go sleep, please. don't get yourself and me in to trouble with the teachers and the seniors. especially ______') i miss last year we all brought our homework to do during camp and we eventually completed it at 2am. and having bird, zz, kuny and some others to accompany us as we did. raah! we studied, they tai t-ed. rhymes.

i miss being the chief cadet band ic. i miss my juniors who always tried to joke and negotiate breaks with me. ('five more minutes can? very tired lah, ma'am. please?' and 'ma'am, why your face very fierce? can don't make us run?') i miss charleston, who accompanied me on a burping competition while i tried to relieve gastric pains on the flight from brisbane to new zealand. i miss being able to fend for myself against the big 4, and never giving in. i hated certain people who made it look as though i was unable to hold my position. get a life. you have your post, i have mine. don't even try to spread your power into my territory. there were consequences. there were clashes. it's still an unresolved conflict till now.

i miss the bitching clique. sitting at the table where we always did for recess whenever we didn't feel like going down to the canteen. and talk nonstop. nadia's latest story about some mundane adventure in which she would exaggerate, nasirah's never-ending quest to lose weight and her obsession with her fat arms. (or so she claims) yan and i laughing at their stories and always making some sarcastic comment or something funny. or not, make fun of nasirah's conquests. (the president of the fatty arm association!) our insane obsession with older guys, and sometimes younger. (nicholas the debator. still so adorably good-looking till now. sorry dear.) but the inability to get a boyfriend. running away scared like diapers from that insanely-HUGE guy who always bugged me if he spotted me. (shudders) yanni causing me public embarrassment because i fell down due to her very strong yank because we were trying to hide from that guy we saw at the mrt station. (i sprained my arm for 2 weeks after that and i remember my skirt flew up when she yanked at me.) the amusing confrontation. it's funny how things change over a year. people whom you thought could be trusted show their true colours in the face of adversity. save your own skin then.

he likes it more when it's let down. (he says he likes how it feels) i prefer his fauxhawk. (i like try to flatten it, despite protests and pouty faces) familiarity. cheers. :)))

birthday wish

i want this book for my birthday. it's already out now. but buying it is no fun. i want someone to get it for me. i miss receiving books for my birthdays. enough gadgets. i love alex more. and i want to laugh at the article he wrote about singaporean food. and the incident at the hotel. i should've went. i should have went.

you owe me. big time.

game over.

and now you pay. serves you right. funny ah? shit you.

stone pissed as it is.

sexy boy

i want matt tong's hair. he has the hair that i want. long fringe and everything. see? i told you. he's got nice hair. i don't mind a boyfriend who looks like russell. cute russell. or someone from kings of convenience. :)))

oh yea. listen to air's sexy boy. then to the franz ferdinand's remake. and tell me which one is nicer please. i want to buy the walk away single because it's on the b-side. i heard poor reviews about the franz ferdinand version. i've yet to hear the ff one. and youtube is an ass for making nice videos unavailable and suspending users which i personally think are cool. what's wrong with that video seriously?

:))) i love my own sexy boy. going around topless posing as mahatma gandhi? ahems. i should have been there. to laugh at you. then rush over with a blanket to cover you. haha. and are you or are you not gay? and don't say you're happy gay. i'll roll my eyes at you.

soulless

i can't believe you thought i really want to marry an italian man who'll ride me around on a vespa and cook for me. ladida. i miss you. and since when am i your satellite? you want satellite go download google earth, ok? i have become an information centre for your group. but at least i was entertained. but i had no peace to sleep leh. and 11th november how? oh wait, your sister's birthday. but i want to go to the nickelodeon thing. but shout at me one more time and i'll give you the silent treatment. then you know how annoyed i was.

i love how some things fall into place. i love your touch. it makes me tingle. dingly tingles are nice. and i love how you gaze into my eyes. and make me feel so unadulterated. i want to fall asleep in your arms. and for you to sing a lullaby of something that i know. and i want to breathe in your scent.