crash

i've been feeling like i'm crashing and burning a lot this past few days. maybe the stress of oral presentation taking effect and the strain of it all. oh, why does this keep happening to me? maybe i should just leave and forget about guys for a while. then i can set myself straight. i can't keep going around in circles figuring out what i really want. i always seem to doubt you, and i end up doubting myself a lot too this days. because you keep telling me things that confuse me. i'm not like other girls. surely you realised that. i don't dress like them, talk like them, act like them. i make an ass out of myself every other day. the only skirts i own are my school skirts and the ones for asean quiz. i detest wearing high heels and i'd rather be seen in sneakers and jeans. you know that don't you? but i get the feeling you don't like me because of who i am. and i'm fine with it. i'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for someone i'm not. i don't even know if you're sincere. because if you aren't, then stop playing games with me. you don't realise the consequences of your actions sometimes and how, in the end, they end up hurting me too. you think being rebellious with them hurts only them. but the consequences end up pushing me away. i've been pushed till the end. maybe it's better if we're not.

maybe it's better if i keep on waiting for that person to return.

it's always better on holiday
so much better on holiday
that's why we only work
when we need the money

my desperate cry for help. in serious need of girlfriends.