don't take annushka away from me

i don't know who annushka is. maybe he is my fantasy russian lover. the name seems to be stuck in my lovely little head. i imagine him with dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes, ala mr alex kapranos. with a square jaw and chiselled features. maybe i want a greek lover. yes. and he looks like mr alex kapranos. and sounds and is as intellectual as him. oh my dream greek lover with a russian name. ooh la love. oh annushka, hold me in your arms forever. (zafirah, wake up!)


oh hell, it was all a dream. i love you.

de-lovely

mmm... i felt sad. then happy then off-tangent. as per my days always. hoho.


last night i found a band called the editors. i love their songs 'all sparks' and 'munich'. i love munich. nyaha. with the company of airhead makes my nights perfect. and 3 special words, enough to make me smile, followed by - go sleep ah. sweetie. can't wait to see you again. my bestie.

was feeling sleepy during literature and darned baizura had to wake me up... rarr... break was fine. had a chat with airhead. so everyone speculates he's my boyfriend. stop it. then came gp. again sleep was attempting to overpower me. had to do the newspaper presentation (thank god it's like, finally over) and aq test. of course airhead sent me a message which made me panic and want to cry (yes, airhead. if you're reading this, you worried me) i felt helpless and just at the verge of venting my anger out. yes, it didn't involve me. but i care for you. i just want to hide you away from her.


after school nice airhead called again. everyone wants to talk to him? yoho. had to get ready for photo-taking while making plans. did photo-taking. i tried to be serious while standing next to dexter. how? then went to IJC's POP talent showcase. the only performance i truly truly enjoyed was carte blanche's dance. ooh.. ash is such a great dancer. lovelove. and the people they got to perform were from campus superstar (zafirah- clueless, doesn't watch it) hence they were singing chinese songs. it'd be okay if i understood chinese. couldn't they sing something i could even faintly recognise?


and rasalas dance practice after that was filled with laughs. thanks to baizura making fun of the alter ego's minah ways. i love baizura. she makes me laugh. and airhead is NOT my boyfriend.

i've become so sloppy
my lovely 'vintage' (according to natria) crumpler
dreary afternoons are ladidas with airhead
i couldn't help it. ash was hot shaking her thing out there

all sparks will burn out

Annushka, don't leave me

i want my alter ego to be either russian or german. ok, that was a random thought. so, had to do community service reflections today. i miss y-camp. even though i can't keep in touch with the rest of the spunk-ians, i really really love you guys. like qin lei, ford, rachel, tracy, jacq, amanda, shirley, the irresistably lame marc, yi han and of course the st gab's boys who all of you made my post- Summer Test weekend just beautifully perfect. however, throughout the darned reflection, all i could think about is this:
i'm sorry my dear airhead but this post would not be complete without this picture. this made the memory of y-camp so fun. his response to my memory? - i'll smack you... oh airhead. life's incomplete without you. i can't wait for december y-camp. yess.


cat got your tongue? you've been silent. come on, is that all you've got? i'm not taunting you. you're just being a coward.

oh, what monstrousity

i'm still pondering. nyaha. i don't want to be too caught up about it. promos coming, asean regional quiz coming, and you still want to think about this small chickenshit matter, love? honey, you've got more important things to do. i shall not let things affect my studies and my goal at hand. thanks to my sister, airhead and the rest of my crew for their support. thank you for not getting unnecessarily involved in my private matters. it's a fight between you and me. to my sister, this is for you: it is always sad because it wants others to feel sorry for it. you can guess what it is. nyaha.


oh hell, you can't scare me. don't think you're so brave telling me you know all about it here. if you know me so well and if you are a student in my school, you should know my locker number, my ic number, my handphone number,... if you know me that well, leave me a note in my locker, i'll be waiting. i'm not taunting you or anything. but come on, everyone is curious to meet you, so am i. stop the mind games. i haven't have time for this kind of shit. what kick do you get out of this? bahaha...


so anyway, today was a mixed day. what do you expect? it's monday. erm, yea. gp was really funky. did some group work stuff. shuduan decided to listen to her ipod. suddenly she said very loud,"Yes, I agree!" the whole class looked and laughed at her. spent a sleepless night for nothing. Brave New World presentations extended till wednesday. kaphooey. (thanks to airhead for accompanying me through the night while i was up doing it.) but we had a jolly good time. blame mdm chitra for not scrutinising the picture of the Grim Reaper properly. oh what laughter rang from the seats. it was a nice change from the usual lectures she gave. hoho. chemistry test was crapped. how am i supposed to even pass the bloody paper when i do not even understand a single thing about the past few chapters. oh hell. unexpected meeting. oh well. anytime is a jolly time with you. Drink lots of water. our private joke. hmm.. thanks for taking time out for me. you're the greatest.


that sums up my day. i'm a happy girl now. thanks to airhead for cheering up my days.

good night and good luck

a post before i do my maths tutorial. eeps. some people just do not get the hint that others have already gotten over them.


take person Q, he is unfairly blaming his friends for his shortcomings and have repeatedly lied to others in order to gain sympathy to ensure that they will be on his side against his old friends. what kind of person are you? she simply does not care about you anymore. my sister is not indebted to you in any way even. in fact you are the one indebted to her. the world does not revolve around you, self-centred egomaniac. open your eyes a bit more, then you'll realise that you've been blindsighted by your own egoistic, selfish ways. you simply cannot lose, and it irks me why people would bother standing up for you, since you are the one always fighting till you have it your way. go ahead, tell others your stories and malicious lies about your friends. i promise you that one day, your past will catch up with you and haunt you.


you want to be a bigger man, forget your friendship with people that you thought were your 'friends'. who's being a coward? you go around the internet trying to get sympathy and stir up hatred. for god's sake, if you think that what you did is so brave, think again. it takes a person to write hate tags, but it takes a man to face up and stand up for himself. oh hell, you just belong to group A.


i've never seen my sister upset over things that happen over the internet. but you've taken one step too far. you hurt my sister, you hurt me. i hate to see her distracted, now that she's studying again. if you don't care about her, guess what? i do. because you don't make a difference in her life. people like you will come and go. but i, as a sister, her flesh and blood, will always be here. and i'd be darned willing to stand up for her. i've been silent for way too long. now i'll take up the challenge. this is not the best that you've got. you do not know who you're messing with here.


just fug off.

empty souls

words shall not be uttered. grievances shall not be made known. i do not like to emo, and please do not tell me that emo is cool. it should not be an excuse everytime you feel gloomy or sullen. it just means that you really don't have a reason to be like so, you just think that it's cool to be angry and sullen.


maybe i do miss having a boyfriend around, someone i can confide in and run to when i've problems. don't get me wrong. i like being single. it saves me from being in a drama similar to the ones i watch unfolding between couples in school and outside. for those moments i feel off tangent. where are you?

the finer things in life don't come easily

reply to my tags:


kevin: umm.. i'm flattered by your compliments. if you look through my archives, you can find photographs about what i do with the people i love sometimes.


hakim: i do not know who you are. so how on earth am i possibly be yours? and i will not recognise you as legitimate unless you come forward with your identity. until then, my heart belongs to someone else. and this blog is for everyone who happens to chance upon it to read. i do not restrict it to people who i do not know. everyone is welcome, be it you tag or you don't. you do not have a right to tell people to get lost or that they cannot be acquainted with me. you are not my friend, what more my boyfriend. you don't know me, therefore you do not have a right here. this is my blog, therefore i have the authority, not you. i'm not being rude, but please know your place.


to airhead: i do not know how i feel for you right now. you can make me angry. yet you are the one that makes me laugh when i need a smile. you can make me feel sad. yet, you're the one who's shoulder i can run to when i feel down. i love you, but i do not know what kind of love this is.

hungry like the wolf

finally, i've got a piece of the perfects. the remix version of hungry like the wolf. they actually sent it to those in the mailing list. nice. lovely.


post-training was funny. cassandra asked if a certain someone was my boyfriend. she's shocked i don't even have a boyfriend. is it that shocking i don't have one? i'm a nerd. nerds don't have time for boyfriends and this kind of mambo jumbo.


isa decided to play with my stick and ball. and lobed it onto the roof of the covered walkway. it took more than 10 guys to get the ball down, despite me telling them i don't mind getting a new ball. but they couldn't bear because it's their fault. they tried using my stick, MY precious stick and damaged the shaft. eeps. so this is the drama of them trying to reach the ball.

'faris, your feet are stinky!'

'a little bit more, guys...'


'someone please hold my butt. it's falling!'

it's funny watching the guys do their best to get a measly $3 ball for me.

sobre

i love how some things just happen to fall into place. like meeting airhead. he's such a sweet fella. we are only friends. i think i've repeated this too many times to too many people. oh wells.


fell asleep during chemistry. too tired. so were samantha and amanda. daniel was astounded that i knew his name. then shreeya said, dan, everyone knows you. break was spent in a blurry of laughter because of michelle's mistake. ooh.. today's civics was damn fun. saf mdc came. i so love the a capella. if a guy serenaded me to get my attention, i'll be hooked to him. hoho.


again ms lee put me as a subject of attention. and i got scolded for not standing in front to lead the class. bully. stupid airhead. why did you call me at 3.30pm?!

not tangent

did i mention i shouldn't have mentioned something to leonard yesterday? i told him i loved watching House. not only that, i told him that i love House. haha.


anyway, today was really sleepy. i fell asleep during history sbq test. hoho. the rest of the day was a blur. until after school. finally got my letter and form to go kl. and mr mahmood gave me a pep talk to help me through everything. i really needed that. whew. but now i have three books to lug around. hoho. i'm feeling the pressure of it all. but mr mahmood told me to be calm about it and use it as a way to network. network, eh? will always find a way to meet new people. and his hints to want a souvenir is so obvious. lol.


training with coach. helped me with my skills. but whatever happens in the court never leaves the court.


mourning the loss of you. i'll never let you go. we'll fight for each other. what does that mean to you?

salamander lizards

chatting with little fart/airhead right now. he's such a reliable friend. we were being crappy during gp. oh the wonders of debate. 'ms yun, i couldn't establish whether they were using the example to substantiate the argument, or the other way around.'


free time was spent laughing at amanda lee with stationery sticking out of hair, thanks to shuduan and liting. it was so funny. pe was weird. ms lee complimented me on good dancing abilities. hoho. thanks ms lee. i'll shake my thang for you on aces day.

sandman

mr sandman i want to forget what just happened. because it'll make me cry if i remember.


stop making rumours about me. i may laugh it off but you don't know how i feel. it's hurting. what did i ever do to you? just leave us alone. i don't want to strain our relationship because of these rumours.


maybe too many emotions are involved. i want that feeling that we had. hold me closer.

love'll die and lovers fade

lost in translation. today was imperfect. but the company was. thanks to little fart, baizura, delia, michelle, liting, amanda lee, shuduan, liz, shiying and kristy.


not forgetting the great company for chemistry: leonard and the rest of my group.


great company makes for great laughs.

what if...

i don't want to know the what if's? it complicates things. it makes friendships difficult. i do not want to be in that in-between stage. we either are or we aren't. we can't say we don't know our places in each other's life. so if you tell me how you feel and not confuse me, we wouldn't be in this state. and do not accuse me of giving mixed signals. i'm confused and tearing up.


i want to stand on a rooftop, or a hilltop and scream my lungs out with you. and maybe all our worries will go away. or we can run somewhere far away from here. and i'll be safe as long as i'm in your arms. and you will be there holding my hand, guiding me all the way.


you are like a palimpsest of my memories. maybe we aren't meant to be? i will love you, no matter what.


to no one in particular.

pinch me

it was all a dream.


justin timberlake's sexyback. my 'get hot' song for the moment. after 'promiscuous' and 'maneater'

yippees..

danial's back. and the mda people just know how to make my day, yea? got an e-mail from them. the only down side is that it's now 16-20th september. but still. the details are cool. i get a tailor-made Singapore motif blazer. and stay at my favourite hotel. it's the blazer i can't wait for. tailor-made. yippee.


i like talking about ladidas with you. sweet.

life is wonderful

euphoria shall not be explained. details shall not be divulged.


yesterday's training had adverse, crushing effects on my ankle. woke up and found that walking was hard. swollen ankle. had to miss out on morning run. never on a swollen ankle. if i ran i think i'd be sent to the hospital. noo.. anyway, screw math test i think i failed. forgot how to find foot of perpendicular suddenly. even when i remembered, i realised that the numbers would not fit. darn it. but ah wells.


pe was funny because we did the aces day thing again. god it was funny. was distracted by ms lee shaking her thing. hoho.


is it my fault i'm sensitive to high frequency? sheesh. over a television you want to get upset. read a book, do something else. open your mind. imagination is free.

personally.

today was a bit off tangent. daniel tan couldn't spare me 5 minutes and left without me. evil. but anyway, where one daniel fails, there's another daniel that happens to be nearby. so, daniel saw walked with me to school. and asked why daniel tan stopped coming to school with me. it just so happens we meet everytime daniel tan leaves without me. but anyway, he was giving me encouragement about my upcoming competition.


history lesson was a blur. mr mahmood accused me of lying about baizura's whereabouts again. does that grin on my face always mean i'm lying? and i was smsing danial. not her. so had to fill up the information details for the competition organisers. one question asked about my hobbies. stumped. writing? too personal. reading? too boring. floorball? sports? volunteering? i couldn't make up my mind. so just put my number one love, photography. nyaha.


leonard kept forgetting his stick. today he almost walked out of class until i said, leonard don't forget your stick. gp he was fiddling with my stick again. god knows why everyone loves using my stick. until the once glorifying red and white licorice grip has become black and maroon. sandran boon kiat. daniel tan. nyaha. sorry people, you can't ever have it. because it's mine!


thanks for keeping me company today. i can't wait for you to come back tomorrow. i miss the laughs. hopefully it'll be a better day.

i really want tonight to last forever

had a long chat with danial today. both his ankles are injured apparently. cleared the air between us, especially after our argument. i don't want to continue pretending we never argued. we discussed a lot of things. and it really made me relieved that he's holding well, even though he misses nasi lemak and pinching my cheeks. be strong little man. i'll always be here for you.


i fell asleep during chemistry today. really tired out. but he kept me awake.

just to share something true about me

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.Shy and private, you yearn for security.You take relationships slowly. You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

happiness is but an sms away..

yay.. he smsed, and it tells me he's safe. alhamdulillah. but he's injured his left ankle. so now we both have injured left ankles. what a weird coincidence. and he's such a sweetheart. he got me a vintage shirt. canyouhearmyexcitementboiling? i wonder what to get him from kl. hmm...


anyways, school tomorrow. i'm prepared for a long bad day. where are you when i need you? (this is for someone else, you don't mind?)

thinking happy thoughts

things i like doing with him around:
1) making fun of ourselves
2) him taking pictures of me, even when i'm unaware
3) me taking pictures of him and threatening to put them on friendster
4) being loopy
5) laughing nonstop
6) not arguing
7) pinching each other's cheeks ( my cheeks are less chubby he says. hard to pinch)
8) running away screaming from weird insects we'll never encounter
9) getting high.. on each other and absolutely nothing
10) being in a frenzy all the time


it's so quiet without you here. and we are NOT a couple as you people would like to think.

the day that music died

chimofunk. yesterday danial went to taiwan. felt really bored and unentertained. so i had an heightened sense of happiness when he sms-ed saying he's already in taiwan. at least, i know he's safe there. for my little brother, i'm sorry we argued. it was not the way it's supposed to be. i only want the best for you.

just some random shots i took. don't fail me. you've all that i've got.

my handsome, darling danial

this is a response to his super nice msn nickname. loll. a post dedicated to the guy who spent two days of fun with me and was willing to come down yesterday to accompany me for pw. it's so quiet here without you.danial + zafirah = fireworks and loopy craziness
the things we do are scary sometimes
"let me use my superpowers to open this darned tissue packet!"
"look ma, the pen's taller than me!"
"don't i look so pretty?"

and guess what came for me today? my official certificate, with my name printed on! yippees! and i stalked him today. i'm a stalker. (not danial)

not the way i want it to be

how do you fill up an empty space in your heart? how do you react to feelings in previously unchartered territory? where do you want this to lead to? how do you rise above everything when all that you're feeling is rockbottom? do you understand what it's like to want to hold on to something, that if someone came to take it away, you'd fight to make sure it's not taken?


i'm at an all-time low. expect showers and thunderstorms from me this coming week. i hate the feeling that comes after you get high. reality seems virtual. fight till they take your life. kamikaze.

you so fly you make me high

last night was fun. fireworks+ little brother + good company = great laughter

we were wearing the same thing, again.

the things he do scare me sometimes

it looks like a computer graphic

we got high on flat coke.

faster, faster, into the sky

nyaha. so it is confirmed. i'm going for the national day parade under ymca. going with the beneficiaries from coh. and little brother's going too. and i think yew chong's going. and i've promised the little brother a picture. nyaha.


was having a confused day. mt was fun. because i was grouped with sufina, siti and hidhir, or as pronounced by tatya, heat-hair. (her indon accent is thick) while we discussed the debate thing, my kl trip was a source of excitement for the girls who wanted to know EVERYTHING that they needed to know: how i got in, how long, who's paying for me, who else is going. and even bitching about joseph who was super sarcastic towards me during the finals. never doubt the innova girl because you never know the tricks she's got up her sleeve. so anyway, sufina actually thought i was going there for a malay competition. MALAY!! so she thought it'd be good if i spoke for the group. hoho.. heathair and i were laughing so hard as i tried to explain that the competition was a regional ASEAN competition, which meant that it'd be in english. funny. and talking about the thing people do when they lick their finger, put it to their ass and go, pssst like they're hot or something. heathair can do it to his hair. i was even giving a demonstration lah (with my own hair please)


maths was funny beacause it was the first time i heard mr phua speak more than the usual decibels he usually uses. all thanks to soap. got back differentiations test. 13/18 tied with samuel 1st in tutorial group. i'm always competing with him in maths. i felt damn toot-ified i got second in class for maths 3 1/2 marks behind him.


chemistry was also another kl trip discussion. this time with amin and khairul. they were so curious wanting to know whether my trip was free and all. yes, it is. khairul now calls me kl girl. and amin is being mean asking whether i can cope going there for one week the week before promos. with prayers and hope yes i can. chemistry was an uproar because we got back our quiz and a lot of people failed. suckballs. 11/18 only. better than leonard who only got 1/2. stark difference even though we both didn't study. so had to do group work. felt like i was the only one doing because the other 3 didn't really know how to do chemistry equilibrium. i hate bring smart. oh wells. at least it gets me to kl.


i almost gave him a heart attack today. and he almost swung out and almost punched me and we almost got into a fight. we were almost enemies at that point. can you count the number of almost's? i love his ways.


bemine.

ich liebe deutshland

i just realised that i really really want to go for the germany trip next year. it's like so cool. i want. i'll be willing to learn the german language for this. nyaha. current loves - razorlight's in the morning and lily allen's smile. nice stoning songs. repetitive beats good for stoning. oh, and franz ferdinand's outsiders from the jool holland show is nice. oh yea. stone baby stone.


anyway, jay's out of singapore idol. hmm. really thought that jasmine would be out because what she did does not constitute as a song. i was hoping jay would sing a franz ferdinand song.(they're considered british right?) he got that intense look and also the voice that could possibly match the wonderful mr alex kapranos'. possibly, i didn't say he definitely will. walk away would've been a good choice. but no one can sweep me off my feet like alex and i can never forget the eyebrow thing he did to me. and congratulations to paul thompson as he is now a proud father of a bouncing baby boy! they grow up so fast. ahaks.


and he was so cute. (not paul, different subject matter) i just so happened to see him while in my mum's car. so i smsed him. and he asked why i didn't call out to him. i could've died, can? he's so sweet. still contemplating whether i should spend part of my much-awaited money to bring him out for something. shall wait first. a LOT of people are asking for treats. hmph. i can't people. i want to save for the kl trip. sorry. maybe my little brother and him. sorrysorrysorry.


can i say it here? he unwittingly makes me high. and m&m's are my soma tablets. so he's a soma tablet?

to three people that mattered

to hafiz, dof and my late grandmother, this song is for you.

"Slipping Away"


All that we needed was right
The threshold is breaking tonight


Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me


Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on people that slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away


All that we needed tonight
Are people who love us and like
I know how it feels to meant
Oh when we leave here, you'll see


Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me


Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on people that slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away


So long
So long


Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me


Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on to people that slipping away


I wish I could have held on to you a little longer before you slipped away.

fabulous..

today was uneventful. except maths lecture. yeah.

dear diary, today he told me he was sad. he was sad because he could not cheer for me because i didn't take my prize today. and that he wants to hear the speech i'm supposed to make tomorrow. isn't he lovable? i wish he were mine. than i'd have peace of mind.

maths lecture was funny. the guys behind baizura and i were talking about bk burgers. it was so distracting. the first guy was complaining about eating rendang burger and the ever-heavenly ramly burgers. haha. baizura and i turned behind. and he said," oh i'm sorry. do you guys want burgers too? you give me money and some time i can run and get you some too." so funny. and i saw him again. i'm so flutterby-ed by him. help me someone.

view from the sixteenth floor.

Vote now! Your vote is secret! yea right. and the polo tees they gave are nice. :)))