how do i explain?

how am i supposed to explain this fuzzy feeling i have? it's hard. i'm trying to open up to someone i think i really like but the thoughts of him keep pulling me back and make me shut myself against him. i don't want the past around me anymore. it's too hard.


how do i react to words that have been thoughtfully said? do i just discard them from memory and not let them get to me? do i just don't care about his feelings? we may not be compatible, but how do i figure it out when i've got mixed signals given out at me. i don't intend to hurt anyone, especially when it comes to the affairs of the heart. the intentions are sweet, but now i keep pondering over the entire conversation. i don't want to hurt you, i don't want to jeopardise our friendship. may we never be more than friends. because you're special to me. not in that way.


don't give me mixed signals, they're confusing me.