nolite te bastardes carborundorum

today was a horrible day. zafirah is stoned pissed as it is. bleugh. slept at 2.45am, woke up at 5.30am. you count the hours. whatever. mr mahmood asked the wrong question - zafirah, how did the dress go? i wasn't giving an attitude problem or being rude (do not talk to me about it) but at least the stylo mylo award wasn't a waste. he actually agreed with me about what i thought about the darn thing! i felt like jumping up and praising the heavens. (two hours after that i was cursing God. oh what blasphemy.)


today was one of those trying days where i had to balance not falling asleep, concentrate, swallow all the scoldings, not cry, get through Brave New World presentation and to reach 7pm without breaking apart. all that without food. bleugh. when the day finally ended, i felt so relieved. i felt like exploding already. have you had enough of putting me down, making me feel ostracised? of course not. you obviously do not want me here. i can see that. d'ya think i'm dumb? i couldn't give a care about you. anymore. maybe that's a sign that i'm the one not conforming. look who's talking here.


thanks for the company.