you'll speak when you're spoken to

i'm really desperate. i hate this. i really hate having to give in. but i can't say no. i can't turn people down. so lunch with jonathan. then to the tailor we went. joseph joined us there. i really felt so stressed over a dumb outfit. because i really just hate it. how can people expect me to be happy if i'm not comfortable? i just really want to cry. no seriously. this sucks balls. YOU HEAR ME?! oh wait, you can't. because you don't care. all you want is a good image for yourself. so dystopic. individual sacrifice for the good of others. i'm sorry but it's just unfair. unfair unfair unfair!!! my grievances have been made. i can't wait to play with fire. bulshit.


dear was forcing me to watch cartel's video. it only reaffirms my belief that they are not an indie band. the editors are indie. the perfects are indie. the killers are indie. but cartel is not indie. they are a punk band. i'm sorry dear.


to remain under the optimistic sun, at least the skirt is pretty. because that was the only thing i had a say in, had control of. because i had the liberty to choose and buy it. it's pretty. worth my $42. for once, zafirah bought a skirt. (other than the school skirt)


everytime i hear the editors' fingers in the factories, i think that you're singing the song to me, especially the line smile for once for a moment, it'll make us happy. heck, the entire song is something you'd sing for me, wouldn't you? the editors remind me of a holiday. holiday music. it feels melancholic, yet just the thing i need on rainy days and any day i feel down. my favourite discovery. loovely. i have a thick stack of moove national day cow decals. anyone interested? call zafirah at 1800-I-LOVE-MOO. haha. but interested friends please respond. (not to the number)


an unnecessary long post. if you see me running to the red once more, you're nuts.