shelly wants to try to taupok me now. i do not have size b boobs!

i still feel like crap. what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

every two minutes i check my handphone hoping that an sms/call will appear.

you can have it all

oh listen to the radio, here's something that you already know. i ain't got no radio.

i have been explicitly behind my work these days. especially history. i don't feel like telling teachers about smun. because i do not want people to think i am getting preferential treatment because of my external activities outside class. it's unfair. and well, i should manage my time well. yes.

i want to save money for my camera next month. but school is seriously sucking up my money. and i have not received my $100+ from council for the stuff that i bought for orientation. i don't mind the nitty gritty but i want at least the $60 odd for the art supplies i bought from art friend. this is slow. :(

i want that bag, those shoes the book those cameras. i want so many things. :( but i want one thing the most. and that person knows what that thing i want most.

cheerleader nation is cool. because they play indie/electronica songs in the background. i want the klaxons. they're cool too. *thank god i'm not a cheerleader*

you can have it all

oh listen to the radio, here's something that you already know. i ain't got no radio.

i have been explicitly behind my work these days. especially history. i don't feel like telling teachers about smun. because i do not want people to think i am getting preferential treatment because of my external activities outside class. it's unfair. and well, i should manage my time well. yes.

i want to save money for my camera next month. but school is seriously sucking up my money. and i have not received my $100+ from council for the stuff that i bought for orientation. i don't mind the nitty gritty but i want at least the $60 odd for the art supplies i bought from art friend. this is slow. :(

i want that bag, those shoes the book those cameras. i want so many things. :( but i want one thing the most. and that person knows what that thing i want most.

cheerleader nation is cool. because they play indie/electronica songs in the background. i want the klaxons. they're cool too. *thank god i'm not a cheerleader*

get high get wasted get laid.

i have been a very mean girl. :(

now why'd you want to go and put stars in their eyes?

i was drenched walking to the mrt station. really. it was as though i didn't use my umbrella. my shoes flooded so badly i could squeeze water out of my socks. yuck. so now i'm drying my bag, shoes umbrella. boo.

chitra told us something about cedar girls. ssh. haha. and i want to be a sound effect technician or a colour specialist. what odd jobs. :)

i love you so.

now why'd you want to go and put stars in their eyes?

i was drenched walking to the mrt station. really. it was as though i didn't use my umbrella. my shoes flooded so badly i could squeeze water out of my socks. yuck. so now i'm drying my bag, shoes umbrella. boo.

chitra told us something about cedar girls. ssh. haha. and i want to be a sound effect technician or a colour specialist. what odd jobs. :)

i love you so.

what you said last time i could tolerate. but this is too much. it's times like these i wonder where i'll get the strength to carry on. O God, stop testing me this way. all i want is just to live in this world without this kind of people haunting me. i don't want to lose someone i love because of these kind of rumours.

right now, i need all the support i can get from people who care. sometimes i want to bury my head deep deep deep down into the ground just so i do not have to hear these words being spoken over and over and over again. :(

on a lighter note: guess what i found yesterday? guess, guess. ask me.

oh no.

my maid (looks at my class photo) : you look like a boy.

thanks. can everybody get off my case?

you don't know me, you don't wear my chains

i feel lost today. i have 4 essays to finish by this week. literature essay and IH test corrections by wednesday. and two history essays by friday. boobloodyboo. i'm sad. so sad.

me: you called?
him: mm hmm.
me: why did you call?
him: mmm.
me: why did you call?
him: huh? i missed you.

guess who? haha!! sweetie pie.

now i want to go out to study. because there'll be no one around town and all the shops are closed. my sinusitis is getting worse. worse. worse. i have an inkling that i regret coming to jc. now i want to go to arts school. if i can't go to university next year, forget private university. la salle, here i come!

the laugh is both a major and a minor key

tralalala. hello samantha. you have been missed really really badly too. our best speaker. :)

went on a personal flag day. don't ask. i was so sleepy i fell asleep the moment i got home. i feel sort of sad. because someone told me he was almost knocked down by a van yesterday while riding his bike. made me think of the time i almost got hit by a car, had i taken one more step.

the laugh is both a major and a minor key

tralalala. hello samantha. you have been missed really really badly too. our best speaker. :)

went on a personal flag day. don't ask. i was so sleepy i fell asleep the moment i got home. i feel sort of sad. because someone told me he was almost knocked down by a van yesterday while riding his bike. made me think of the time i almost got hit by a car, had i taken one more step.

watching 'The Arena' makes me miss debate! all the days pondering in airconditioned rooms coming up with arguments and whatnot. and endless $1 fries which were enough to feed an entire barrack of army officers. :) where have those days gone? being a debater made us feel like elites. but it was one of those things. haha.

school sucked. imagine only 2 lessons and we ended school later than we would normally do on fridays. they made us sit in the hall from 1145 to 1230 for a short 10minute assembly showing 2 videos which were in Chinese. *grumble grumble*

ate at seoul garden with my sister then we walked around causeway point. ok. that's all. ooh. met jonathan brother while queuing up for 963. we talked for a while. many more days to simun. :)

it finally rained. very heavily. lightning was striking nonstop near my house. like directly outside.

you are the dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine

my arms are muscular now. doing millions of pushups and pull-ups for every pe lesson. and that bridge thing i don't mind so much except the fact my whole body quivers whenever i do it. i wonder how our future juniors are going to handle innova jc's pe after the jae. and future innovians too. at least they know they'll leave the school with toned and muscular bodies. :)

meo bloonasir

i am in love with Sigur Ros' 'Takk...' It just lets me unwind at the end of the day. I can take a whole trip home and I'm only halfway through the album. Considering that one song can take up to 10 minutes. It makes me happy and high. And makes me think of someone. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone, especially to all well-wishers. (:

And I feel bad for making Mr Chin mad. But what he said was true. ):
And thanks to Mr Yeo for lifting up my spirits. I suppose I need that grip to reach for that higher rung. Maybe a bit of parkour should help me do it too. :) But thanks.

And Happy Valentine's Day to Jonathan brother. Takk... for being the first to wish me so. (:

glosoli

takk to my brother for getting me sigur ros' album. really in the nick of time. i really need the soothing music to calm my nerves and just let me unwind after the day ends. especially these few days. i suppose i have to grit through my resolution and not procrastinate further. thanks to these people so far for the birthday wishes:

- Jonathan brother :))
- Danial :))
- Yanni dearest :))
- Atikah Syarah :)
- Afiqah :)
- Amaluna :)
- Daniel Tan :)
- Michelle :)
- Rauf
- Ridzwan
- Akbar
- Madhiah :)
- Aaron :)
- Jayne :)
- Fanny
- Lyanna
- the entire Sinar Fusika gang. :)

thank you nice people. i want a holga camera. or the ones at peninsula. they're really cool. and i bet i can take cooler pictures with them. or a DSLR will do. the antique ones will do fine and dandy. but i don't mind a holga or a polaroid.

stay with me, as i'm getting naked

i'm too frustrated for words. what a great day to end the final hours of being seventeen. happy fucking birthday to me tomorrow.

i@fun

i@fun was a success. but now i've found a new reason to despise and hate yanghao. go screw yourself boy. thanks for coming and having fun. it made my day. i'll see you later. and happy birthday to me tomorrow.

as i sit in my dark corner

thanks for the company. and tracy still makes me go whoa! haha. don't ask.

i@Fun tomorrow. people, please come. good games, good fun, good time! come help find Charlotte as we try to keep catch the insects for her. and nas, i can't wait to see you!!! yay. i am a happy girl. and i'm turning legal in three days. haha. no, i am not the type who goes clubbing and all that shit. it's not my cup of tea. iJC's jam & hop nite was enough to make me feel freaked out because someone grabbed me. boo.

say it right

i think major arguments are alright. hm. it feels weird to meet someone whom you were arguing with less than 24 hours ago. i could not be bothered though. i miss that person a lot. i am sorry. i feel lost. sometimes i get the feeling, i want to walk in the rain. take a long stroll in the rain, get drenched. it clears my mind. but i get the flu after that. boohoo.

short one then. maybe when i have the mood later.

later.

i know you said to me, i look at the same time

i like not having school on a weekday. (:

so i went to national library to study because most mortals would be in school. so it was relatively peaceful, empty and quiet. (: plus the machine has great sandwiches that can fill up those empty stomaches and sluggish brains. yummy. after that walked to the mcdonald's beside bras basah complex because it's quiet there too. at lunchtime, the place was still less than half filled. and most of the people who were there were office workers. (:

after that i walked to raffles city to take the train to jurong east to make my ez-link card. i look very stoned and emo in my photo. (:

tomorrow, tomorrow
i can't wait for tomorrow.

for the good times and the bad times we know will come

today i went to the pasar malam to buy those japanese balls thing because i was hungry. very hungry. it made me retch after that. i'll stick to the japanese pizza. i like salmon. i don't know why. my mum doesn't like the taste of it. i can take it. but not with wasabi and soy sauce. or i'd have a diarrhoea episode like i did in kl. speaking of kl, my money has been finally accredited to my account. yay.

the indian muslim stall is experiencing underproducing. plus chinese buy from the stall too. people please. spare a thought for us muslims who only have ONE stall to buy from whereas you have the whole canteen to choose from.

today, no one was spared from zafirah's bitching wrath. especially girls from that particular class. especially that cedar girl who gives me the impression that she thinks of herself as some bigshot. i mean, she looks at everyone and everything as though it were filth. and has that face that says,' what am i doing in this low-class school?' i think you only have yourself to blame. you couldn't make it anywhere better so be grateful you were even posted. and she wore another girl's uniform. one of the girls schools with pinafore and belt. not the convent school. she looked pregnant and i just HAD to say it out loud when she walked past me. i don't know why i did that. and also the other one who acts pretty. i think the whole gang thinks they're pretty and cute. my ass is cuter.

i do not naturally hate people. even though i give the impression that i can bite. and i have nothing against students from all-girls schools. but this is too much. seriously. i hate people who act all high and mighty and stick in a click just because they're from SAP school. please. if you were from SAP school, you wouldn't be in innova. am i right or am i right?